


Moiety

by Mcusekat



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Getting Together, Hux is a First Order defector, Kylo Ren is a smuggler, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Mentions of Violence, force bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-07-19 12:27:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 38,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7361494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mcusekat/pseuds/Mcusekat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren is a renowned smuggler in the Galaxy. He left his old life long ago and is much more satisfied with his new life, but after being offered a job by a former First Order General he must make a decision that may change everything he worked so hard to achieve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  Outside of the freight ship was absolutely still.  The winking suns and galaxies light-years away gave the impression of movement in the nothingness, but it was truly motionless. Even the ship hung still, floating in space.

  Inside the freight ship was a flurry of motion. Kylo Ren tapped the screen of the console impatiently while his crew dashed back and forth from engine room to bridge trying to reactivate the ship. It was disabled entirely. Even the backup generators and the alarm were disabled. His ship was dead.

  Behind them was the monster of a ship. Their tiny ship had been no competition for the beast. Ren had only seen it for a moment on the radar before it overrode their systems and shut them down mid flight. They were at the mercy of the beast.

  “Captain?” his co-pilot said. Rey, his cousin. She was brave, strong, but her face was now carefully blank with fear. “What do we do?”

  Ren said nothing. He hadn't a clue what to do. Before he could muster the words to say, the ship lurched suddenly as it was caught in a tractor beam. The beast was pulling them in.

  “Prepare for a fight, but wait to see if they're hostile,” he said finally.

  She nodded and got up to alert the crew of their plan. Ren kept his hand near the lightsaber on his belt, concealed beneath his robe.

  Ren’s business was a cargo running operation under the guise of a freelance shipping vessel. Their ship, the _Knight_ , was small. It only had enough room for his small crew and a couple hundred tons of transport. It was easier that way. In the huge span of space it was easy for a small vessel to dart around without being caught by the average vessel.

  The ship behind them wasn't the average vessel, though. In fact, it was one of the largest non military ships Ren had ever seen. Perhaps even military. It was _Resurgence_ -class, armed to the teeth with everything they could fit onto it. It was obviously for battle, though there was no military insignias on the hull. Odd.

  The ship went dark as they were sucked into the docking area. Giant steel doors closed and trapped them in. Ren swallowed and waited at the console. Unless they were planning on just raiding their ship, the only way to contact them was through the ship’s communication systems, for which they would have to activate the built in generators, which they'd disabled when they hacked his ship.

  Rey came back into the command room. She looked tense, stressed.

  “Finn says he's seen this ship before,” she said.

  Kylo turned to face Rey. “Oh?” he asked, urging her on.

 “It's the _Finalizer._ It was stolen from the First Order when Finn was still with them.”

  Someone had managed to steal from the First Order? He hadn't heard of this incident, though he supposed the First Order would want to keep hidden the fact that someone had stolen a ship of this size from the public.

  He gripped the edge of the console and closed his eyes. With the Force he reached out and looked for anything. There were thousands of people on the ship, hundreds in the docking bay surrounding them. Their guns were aimed directly at them, but they made no move to shoot.

  There was two people walking towards the ship, armed to the teeth. Ren pulled back and found Rey staring at him.

  “What'd you find?” she asked.

  “Move everyone to the entrance, someone is coming.”

  They hurried into position, forming a semicircle around the doorway on the right side of the ship. They silence was pregnant.

  The door opened down with a hiss, the hydraulic systems being forced open against their will. As the ramp settled, Ren saw the two people he'd sensed standing at the end. It was a man and a woman, both tall and dignified. The man wore mostly grey, with a grey suit and great coat. The woman beside him was tall, pale, with short blonde hair and a commanding presence. She wore some sort of silver armor, like that of a Stormtrooper, without the helmet.

  “Who is the captain of this ship?” the man asked.

  “Me,” Kylo said.

  The man examined him. Kylo felt scrutinized under his gaze, like this man was boring into his mind.

  “I'm Hux, this is Phasma,” he said finally. Hux didn't offer his hand to shake. “You're the transport vessel _Knight_ , are you not?”

  “Yes,” Ren said, though he knew the man already knew the answer.

  “Very well, come with me.”

  Hux, alone, turned on his heel and started marching down the ramp. Phasma watched him coldly for a moment, hand on her blaster. He sensed he had no choice in the matter, so he followed.

  The docking area was covered in troops. They watched him, lined in neat rows, backs straight, unmoving. Ren almost forgot that he wasn't on a military vessel.

  Ren followed Hux by a few feet, examining the ship. There wasn't much to look at, though. The long hallways were shiny steel, immaculate and impersonal. The only thing telling about each hallway was a single bold letter and number, but they all looked identical beyond that.

  Finally Hux stopped at a door, the same as the other dozens of doors they passed but with a 4A on the nameplate. He opened it with the palm sensor walked in. Ren followed. There was a little office in the room, with a steel desk, a few chairs, a data computer, and sound proofed walls. Hux motioned to the chair and Ren sat.

  Reaching out, he found Rey and his crew unharmed. Nervous, but unharmed. ‘ _Everything okay?_ ’ he he asked Rey through the Force.

  ‘ _Fine. They haven't done with us. Yet._ ’

  “So, Kylo Ren.”

  “Ren is fine,” he said.

  “Very well,” he said. He stood again and walked to a shelf where he produced a bottle of alcohol and two crystal glasses. He set them both on the table and poured, then pushed one over to Ren.

  “I don't drink.”

  “It's not poisoned. You're worth nothing to me dead.”

  “What am I worth to you alive?”

  “A couple thousand credits, last I checked.”

  Kylo was well aware of the bounty on his head. Not many people sought it, as there were less dangerous criminals worth more.

  “So is that was this is? You're taking out a bounty on me?” Kylo sneered. His hand twitched with the urge to reach to the lightsaber clipped to his belt. He wondered who the faster draw would be, him or Hux. He could stop a blaster bolt, but in such closed quarters it would be risky to do so.

  Hux sipped from his glass. He was relaxed back into his chair but he still held excellent posture. He was handsome in a sophisticated way. His high cheekbones and sharp nose suggested good genes, his elegant and graceful ways suggested high-class upbringings, and his smart eyes suggested intelligence. It was natural to him as well, so Ren knew he was born into this, not just emulating it.

  “No, I have an offer to make you.”

 Ren raised his eyebrows. “An offer?”

  “Yes. Our freight ships were caught and executed, so we're in need of new supply runners. Ones who know how to be elusive and not get caught. We pay excellently.”

  Kylo stared at him. His mind was blocked, Kylo was unable to read his thoughts. From the smirk on his face he assumed Hux could feel him try to get in.

  “You're not the first Force user I've come across,” he said.

  Force users were rare, with Jedi sworn to celibacy and genocides and the such. This sparked an interest in Kylo. “Who was the first?”

  Hux examined him for a second, deciding whether or not to tell him. “Have you heard of Snoke?”

  He'd heard of Snoke in the same way one hears of a cryptid. They uttered his name in fear, speculated on whether or not he was real. He was supposedly the Supreme Leader of the First Order, a military organization that grew from the ashes of the Galactic Empire.

  “I wasn't aware he was real.”

  “Nor was I until I saw him.”

  “How did you get an audience with him?”

  “A story for another day,” he said, then diverted the conversation. “I imagine your crew will want a say in the decision, so I'll give you have a week to discuss it. However, you will not be permitted to leave until you do. You may house your crew in our quarters, or you may stay in your ship. We will return electricity but not your engine power. He pulled his datapad from a pocket of his greatcoat. The screen flickered to life and he tapped a few buttons. “Phasma will sync your console with our own so you can tap into the communication system of the ship. It will be limited, of course, but you may still contact Phasma and I.”

  Kylo nodded. Hux stood and offered his hand to shake. Kylo took it.

  “I hope we are all able to come to a favorable agreement. I'll show you back to the docking bay.”

  The troops at the docking bay were gone but Phasma was waiting in front of the ship. She stood at the end of the ramp. Rey and Poe, his pilot, we're sat at the top of the ramp talking quietly.

  “Is the console programmed?” Hux asked.

  “Yes,” she said.

  “Thank you.”

  “Should I have rooms prepared for them?”

  Rey and Poe looked up at that, their conversation halting. Rey stood up and walked down the ramp.

  “What do you mean? We’re staying here?” she asked, a bit too loudly.

  “We'll discuss this later. Do you want rooms here?”

  “Absolutely not!” she said, looking shocked that Kylo would even entertain the idea.

  “Are they nice rooms?” Finn called. He stood behind Poe watching the three. Rey gave him a sharp look. “I mean, the rooms here aren't exactly five-star.” He shrugged.

  He was right. Even Ren and Rey, captain and co-captain, slept in the cots stacked by threes in the sleeping cabin. Small ships came at a cost, and their cost was comfort.

  “What if it's a trap and they ambush us in our sleep?” she asked.

  “They could do it just as easily if we were in our ship,” Ren said.

  She huffed. “Ever the contrarian, aren't you? Fine, if we stay in their rooms we double up.”

  “Very well. Poe, what about you?” Ren looked up at the pilot.

  “I say we board here,” Poe said. “I mean, they probably have real beds. I would risk my life for a night not on a cot.”

  “So it's decided, three against one, sorry Rey,” Kylo said.

  “You're not sorry,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. There was no real venom, only slight annoyance.

  “No. Come on.”

  Phasma led them down a maze of identical looking halls to a housing level. There was more people in this area of the ship. The din of thousands of minds working at once relaxed Kylo significantly.

  She assigned them two rooms beside each other.

  “I could have a servant droid bring two fold-out beds if you'd like?” she offered.

  “That would be nice. Thank you,” Rey said.

  As soon as Phasma was out of sight Rey herded everyone into one room.

  “They're being suspiciously nice,” she said. “What did Hux say to you?”

  “He offered us a job under him,” Kylo said.

  They all fell silent. “What?” Finn asked, breaking the silence.

  “Why would he want to hire us?” Rey asked quietly. Her mind was loud as her thoughts ran wild.

  “His last transport crew was executed on the job,” he said.

  “What did you say?” she asked.

  “Nothing. There's time to discuss our decision.”

  Rey seemed to calm at that.

  “What's the pay?” Finn asked.

  “He said they pay well, but he didn't give an exact number.

  “We’ll discuss this tomorrow. Let's rest and clear our minds first,” Rey said.

  Everyone murmured an agreement. The serving droid arrived moments later with the spare mattresses and they began preparations to get comfortable in the new rooms.


	2. Chapter 2

  Kylo took advantage of the hot water of the  _ Finalizer _ first. When he came out he found nondescript gray sweats and tee shirts in the drawers. He sent his clothes to the laundry droid and relaxed on the fold out bed. They weren't as comfortable as the real beds but were still more comfortable than the cots in his ship.

  Poe, who he was bunked with, wasn't in the room but he sensed him next door. He knew the three got along better than they did with him, even Rey, his own cousin. He tried not to mind, but he did feel lonely sometimes. They were afraid of him. They didn't say but he could feel the spike of panic whenever he got even a little frustrated or angry. It was one of the reasons he left so many years ago, but it seemed it was inescapable.

  He sighed and found the datapad on the desk. Kylo found the map of the ship and located the cafeteria. It was on his level, not too far from his location. He pulled on boots and coat and embarked to find it.

  It was a large area, built for thousands to eat at the same time. The walls were the same steel of the rest of the ship and long metal tables with metal benches were the seating. 

  Kylo waited in the line for his rations then found an empty table to sit at, away from the rest of the people. No one tried to talk to him, and for that he was grateful.

  The rations were the same as any. They came as a green powder and, when added to water, puffed up into bread. The drink was a vitamin supplement with all the nutrients not supplied in the bread. They weren't exactly tasty, but Kylo was used to the bland flavoring.

  Kylo was surprised when Hux sat across from him. He didn't think the man would be a 'socialize over dinner’ type. Especially when the one he was socializing with was a lowly cargo ship captain, prospective client or not. 

  “Good evening, Ren,” he said. He stirred his rations with a fork, looking casual, though not off guard.

  “Hux. I wasn't aware the captain of the ship ate meals with his lessers.”

  Hux scoffed. “I'm not so narcissistic as to think I'm above eating with those below me.” As an afterthought he added, “And socializing with one's subjects breeds loyalty. Stowing away in my quarters with expensive meals doesn't.”

  Kylo fought a smile. “I don't believe eating with the stranger in the back of the room helps your cause either.”

  “I find you more interesting than any of them.”

  Kylo felt an odd sensation in his chest. “We only talked for a short time and you already find me interesting?”

  Hux fixated him with an interested look. “It isn't every day a Force-using smuggler comes onto your ship,” he said. 

  Kylo studied him for a moment. He of all people knew how u unpopular Force users were, so he had a natural inclination to distrust Hux. But Hux didn't seem interested in hurting him, he just seemed interested. “It suppose not. I'm not very keen on telling a gang leader my life’s story though.”

  Hux scoffed. “My organization is hardly a bloody gang, though I suppose that's fair. Tell me about the Force, then.”

  He shrugged. “What do you want to know?”

  Hux thought carefully for a moment. “What causes this? Is it hereditary or random?”

  “It's hereditary.”

  “So your parents are Force sensitive?”

  Kylo felt suddenly uncomfortable. He had succeeded thus far in keeping his relations a secret, and he hoped to maintain this. Hux seemed to notice the sudden change in Kylo because he changed the subject.

  “What is the range of your powers? Can you only read minds and move things?”

  “My powers specifically?” Kylo asked.

  “Sure,” Hux said.

  “I didn't complete my training, so my power is limited. There are powers exclusive to sides, as well. Since I'm neither light nor dark there are powers I will never obtain.”

  “Light and dark?”

  “The Force is very polar. Every Force user has either light or dark in them. The dark side consists of users who draw power from negative emotion, and the light side users draw their powers from peace.”

  Hux stared at him. “If users aren't drawn to either, how are you neither?”

  “I have too much light and dark in me.”

  “What's it like?”

  Kylo stayed quiet. No one had ever asked him this before, so he wasn’t sure what to say. Being neither and both was terrible, a constant feeling of being pulled apart, of being abnormal and different and wrong. It was disappointment and even  _ fear _ from his mentor, his uncle. It was hushed whispers when others thought he was asleep, saying he’d end up like his grandfather. He was alienated from his peers, from his family,  from anyone because of what he  _ might _ do.

  Instead of saying all of that he said, “Confusing.”

  Hux didn't press him further, and for that he was grateful. He didn't sense pity from him, only curiosity. It was refreshing, to not feel patronized. Already he found Hux more enjoyable to be around than most of the people he knew. 

~

  Kylo walked into his quarters later. He and Hux hadn't talked much beyond their discussion of the Force. Hux explained to him the workings of the ship, sent him the timetables and schedules he would need. It worked on an artificial time schedule, with sections of the ship on different schedules. This was so the ship was never inadequately manned. It was a clever system, but a little challenging to learn. They ended the conversation with Hux saying he could talk to him at any time if he had questions about the ship or work.

  When Kylo entered his quarters Poe was on the bed reading on a tablet.

  “How's the food?” he asked, looking at Kylo over the top.

  “It's standard issue rations,” he said. He tugged off his coat and hung it up in the closet. The pajamas were more or less the same as the day clothes, but thicker and made of a softer material. During the night cycle the heating was lowered in the sector to conserve energy. Ren pulled two garments from the drawer and stepped into the bathroom.

  “Damn, I was hoping for something better than what we already have. When we get back to a planet we need to get some real food.”

  “Maybe we'll go back to Corellia. Rey has been saying she misses the food there.”

  Poe’s face screwed up. “I hate Corellian food. Everything is either sweet or tasteless. I was thinking more Naboo.”

  “Naboo?” Ren asked absently. He was only half paying attention to what Poe said. 

  “Yeah. It's a nice mixture of a lot of different flavors.”

  “I've never been to Naboo.” He stepped outside of the bathroom and turned to Poe. “You should eat, we’ll be discussing the offer tomorrow so we should all be in a sound state of mind.”

  Poe considered this. “Okay. Are you going to sleep.”

  “I'm going to try.”

  He stood up and pulled his coat on. It was his old Resistance TIE Fighter jacket. The Bantha leather was worn thin from aging, but Poe took great care to keep it in good shape. “I'll be quiet when I come back. See you later.”

  Kylo pulled off his boots then laid on the mattress. He closed his eyes, not going to sleep but meditating. There were too many people on the ship to block out completely but with some effort he was able to reduce their thoughts to background noise.

  After a moment he started sifting through the minds. While they were asleep, with blockades down, he was free to search through their memories as he pleased. He didn't find anything very interesting. He did find that many of the people on this ship were First Order defectors, mainly Stormtroopers, though. A few were even higher ups, with a lieutenant and some pretty officers. 

  Startled at the revelation, he searched for Hux's conscience. The man was still awake, with his blockades still up. Kylo felt a streak of anxiety run through him. He knew nothing about this man, and that scared him. This ship could be First Order spies looking for but an angle to hit the Resistance with, and what better angle could they have than a personal one? They didn't knew who he and Rey were but if they were determined it surely wouldn't be difficult to find out.

  Kylo shook his head. No, they weren't spies. In the minds that he could read, many of them were definitely defectors. They harbored bitterness towards the First Order for many different reasons, and some felt relieved to have left. So that was out of the question. 

  Still, he had to find out more about the organization. About Hux and Phasma, and the ship in general.

~

  Kylo woke several hours later when his datapad jingled. He stood up shakily and saw Poe on the bed buried beneath several blankets. The only light was the blueish glow of the datapad’s screen. He stumbled to it, still in the realm between sleep and wake. When he finally reached it he squinted at the text.

_  ‘From HUX _ ’ the message read.  _ ‘Meet me at my office 1300.’ _

  Kylo stared at it for a moment, his mind barely processing anything. He couldn't recall any business he still had with Hux.

  Still, he saw an opportunity to get more information about the ship's captain. He set the time in his schedule planner and hobbled back to bed. 

~

  His crew met in the command room of the  _ Knight _ . It was slightly more secure than the rooms, though not by much. Still, he  _ felt _ safer in the  _ Knight _ than in the quarters of the  _ Finalizer _ . 

  “So,” Rey said. She leaned forward onto the pull-down table. She’d procured a list of several topics if discussion she wanted to go over during the meeting. Kylo hadn't prepared anything. He hadn't expected this to be a structured discussion for which he needed to prepare, but he supposed Rey was just being cautious. “Kylo, start by telling us what Hux told you. Don't leave anything out.”

  He recounted his discussion from the day they'd docked on the  _ Finalizer _ , or as much as he could recall. It wasn't much, their whole meeting had lasted minutes.

  “What about yesterday, at the cafeteria?” Rey asked after he'd finished.

   He was caught off guard by that. He hadn't thought she'd be tracking him, though he should have assumed. A wave of anger ran through him. He'd asked her many times to keep out of his head, though she insisted she couldn't help it. Of course, she was never a good liar. She would dart her eyes away from him, as though unable to look at him as she lied. 

  “We didn't talk at all about the deal during dinner,” he said, keeping his voice carefully emotionless.

  “What did you talk about?” she asked, her eyes narrow. Suspicion. Kylo crossed his arms over his chest.

  “Nothing important,” he bit.

  Finn and Poe looked suddenly uncomfortable. Rey and Kylo fought often. Rey was suspicious of Kylo and his tendency to cross over from light to dark. She thought he could snap any day now. She never voiced these concerns or acted cold or fearful of him, but he knew she had plans for if he did. He knew she often thought of this late at night. She often had mental discussions with herself over whether or not she could hurt him if he suddenly turned on them (she often came to the conclusion that she could if her friends were in danger). 

  Kylo hated her for that. She didn't know of his struggle and insecurities, though. He refused to talk to her about it, so he supposed it wasn't her fault. Still, it stung knowing that his own cousin, the only one in his family who hadn't turned on him, who even joined him on his journey, thought so low of him.

  Rey was studying him. He felt her in his mind, though he had enough blocks up that she couldn't find anything important. 

  “Fine,” she said. She looked down at her notes, forcing herself to calm down. She took a deep breath, then spoke again. “I have a list of questions that must be answered before I feel comfortable coming to any conclusion. I was going to ask Hux myself, but since you seem to be so friendly with him you should talk to him.”

  Kylo gritted his teeth. He would tell her to piss off, ask him herself, but he did have an audience scheduled with him in three hours.  _ Damn her _ , he cursed in his mind.

  “Fine. Anyone else have any questions?”

  Finn and Poe were deathly silent. Not a word from them had been uttered the whole meeting, and Kylo could feel the discomfort radiating off of them.

  “Uhh, pay?” Finn said.

  “And cargo type,” Poe added.

  “I have those in my list,” Rey said. She'd sobered significantly when she felt their discomfort. Her emotions were fleeting anyways. She had flashes of anger or frustration but never anything more. Grudges were foreign to her. Kylo envied her for that.

  “I have an audience with Hux in three hours. If no one else has anything to add I'd like to adjourn this meeting.”

  No one spoke so Kylo left. He heard the others following behind him but he paid them no mind.

  He'd seen a training room on the map and Phasma had given him access to all recreational rooms in the ship. He wanted nothing more than to blow off steam. He wasn't so much mad at Rey he was hurt. She couldn't know how much it pained him to feel her distrust, but that didn't make it better. Just as well, he had a habit of channeling his pain into anger (‘Like the Sith do,’ some voice in the back of his head added. Sometimes it was Uncle Luke saying this, sometimes it was his father, or Rey. Most of the time it was himself). 

  He set an alarm for one hour and threw himself into his training.

  He felt no time go by before his alarm rang. He felt calmer, marginally. He headed to the training room’s showers and cleaned himself in cold water. He stood under the stream for some time and tried to clear his mind. The pain of strenuous exercise helped to clear his mind, but the water relaxed him.

  He was barely on time when he arrived at Hux’s office. Hux was waiting for him at his desk, two glasses of brandy already poured. When Kylo sat across from him he nudged one glass closer. 

  Kylo contemplated it before taking a sip. It was rich and smokey, an expensive liquor.

  “I see you made use of the recreational facilities,” Hux said.

  “Yes. Is this a problem?”

  Hux raised his eyebrows. “No, just glad to see you making yourself comfortable. Your crew doesn't seem to share the sentiment. They only leave their quarters to visit the cafeteria or go to your ship.”

  Kylo wondered his meaning behind the words.

  “Exercise helps me to relax.”

  “What had you pent up?” Hux leaned forward onto his elbows and stared at Kylo.

  Kylo almost told him about the meeting but stopped himself. “I don't believe it concerns you. Please, do tell me why you summoned me here. I'm a busy man.” He wasn't, but it was a convenient diversion.

  Hux smiled and leaned back in his seat. He looked very much like an emperor in his throne, looking down at Kylo like he was a peasant. Hux had a natural air of dominance about him. It made Kylo wonder if the man came from royalty or military. The name Hux was a familiar one, but he couldn't recall where he'd heard it. Since he left the Resistance all those years ago he hadn't paid much attention to politics.

  “Very well. We would like to temporarily hire your crew for a job. Your week deadline for a permanent decision has been extended to two weeks, but some events have occurred and we need a freight crew as soon as possible. The pay will be 200,000 credits, 50,000 of which can be given now should you accept and the rest comes once the job is successfully completed.”

  Hux leaned forward, his hands steepled and his eyes sharp, businesslike.

  “What is the cargo?” Kylo asked. He also changed gear. He leaned back in his seat and took a more professional air. 

  “It's a person, a defector from the First Order. She is waiting on Baros in the Dominus sector.”

  Kylo examined him. “Will we come into contact with the First Order? My ship is not equipped for battle against such a powerful force.”

  Hux shook his head. “The First Order is nowhere near the Dominus system. If you feel unsafe in your ship, however, we can loan you one for our fleet. I'd take 5,000 credits off your final fee, of course, for fuel and maintenance costs.”

  Kylo shook his head. “No, ours will suffice. I'll accept your job. Have the upfront cost ready in four 12,500 chips by 0700 and we shall set out by 1900 tomorrow.”

  Hux looked pleased. “I admire your ethic. We’ll activate your ship and load any relevant data onto the main console. It needn't be said but this is a highly classified mission. The person being loaded is a First Order defector and thus a federal criminal.”

  “Yes, I know how these things work.”

  He smiled, a pleased grin. “Very well. I'm pleased to finally work with you. I've heard nothing but good things concerning your work.”

  “Thank you,” he said, surprised at the warm feeling that spread through him.

  “I'll see you tomorrow, Ren.”

  Kylo was halfway to his room when he realized he had forgotten to ask Hux Rey’s questions.


	3. Chapter 3

Kylo Ren sent his crew a short summary of the mission that night. Afterwards, he went to the commons room of the Knight and indulged himself with a drink. He had whiskey stored in the refrigeration unit. It was horrid but it only took a few glasses to obtain a pleasant buzz.

  He was a few glasses in when Finn entered. He sat across from him, silent as he chose his words. This was how Kylo knew this was serious, the man had a loose tongue otherwise. Ren sipped his drink, hoping to progress his drunk before he had to deal with whatever trouble Finn brought.

  “Rey is pissed.”

  Ren rolled his eyes. “I’m aware.” He knew Rey wouldn't be happy that he took the job without consulting her first. The payout was too good, and the mission was relatively easy if they didn't run into the First Order. Besides, she never took issue with him taking jobs before. 

  She was meditating now, having forced herself to calm down. She was better at handling her anger than Ren could ever hope to be, but she had never completed her training and her emotion still flared on occasion. When she read the report her anger was fiery and hot, burning at Ren like fire. It was short lived, but he still felt it.

  “She has no right to be. I'm the captain, she forgets this. She never had any issue with me choosing missions for us before.”

  “I don't think that's what she's pissed at.”

  Kylo looked up. Finn’s face was serious, not an ounce of humor. It was uncommon to see him as such.

  “I don't understand.”

  “She thinks you're being manipulated by Hux.”

  Kylo was in shock for a moment. Hux wasn't… no, he could see it. Hux was friendly to him with no reason to be so, except from a strategic standpoint. He wanted Kylo’s crew on his side, and what better way to do so than to become friends. He seemed very interested in his abilities, and Kylo was very aware that people would try to use him for the Foce.

  Kylo gritted his teeth. He stood, swiped the half empty bottle off the table with the Force and reveled in the way it sounded as it clattering against the wall. He felt Finn’s fear course through him, sweet and sickly like sugar. Still, Finn stood up and stopped him from walking down the ramp. 

  “What are you doing?” he demanded, standing in front of the doorway and blocking Kylo's only exit.

  “I'm going to kill Hux.”

  Another wave of fear.

  “Think about what you're doing, Kylo. If you do that his whole army will come after you,” he said. His voice was firm and steady.

  “And I'll kill them too. Move,” he said. He navigated around Finn easily and marched to Hux’s quarters. He was drunk, blindly following the whisper of his presence with the Force. His presence was slight as he slept, only the distant whisper of his subconscious thought. Still, Kylo found his quarters.

  The locking mechanism of Hux’s door buckled easily under the Force. He was silent as he walked through, and locked the door back behind him. He found Hux in bed, sleeping peacefully. There were a thousand ways he could kill Hux, but Kylo wanted to feel the life drain from his body. Quickly, he straddled Hux’s ribs and wrapped his hands around his slender throat.

  Hux woke immediately, and Ren felt an influx of ‘ _ FEAR PANIC _ ’ from Hux’s mind. Despite, the man fought back immediately. He grasped Kylo and shoved him off to the side, then reached over for his blaster. Kylo, though clumsy with alcohol, was able to stop him with the Force. His hand froze in mid air, trembling slightly as he tried to move forward. His green eyes were wide with panic and his thoughts were loud and unbarred.

  Kylo grabbed him again. They grappled for a moment, both struggling to come out on top. However, Hux had the advantage of not being drunk, so he prevailed, pinning down with his hands around his wrists and a knee on his chest. Kylo struggled but Hux stopped him with his voice.

  “Ren, what the  _ fuck _ ?” he asked, hoarse from strangulation. 

  “You're manipulating me, lying to me!” he near shouted. He was breathless from the struggle.

  Hux stared at him for a moment. “Bloody hells, that's it?”

  “What the fuck do you mean, ‘ _ that's it _ ’?” Ren said, offended.

  “You're drunk.”

  “That's irrelevant, answer my question.”

  Hux sighed. “If I release you will you try to strangle me again?”

  “Maybe.”

  Hux took that as a ‘no’ and released his wrists, then removed himself from the bed with a heaving sigh. He wore only the standard-issue grey boxers and a thin white tank top stretched over his chest. Despite himself, Ren couldn't help but feel his cheeks heat at his scant attire. 

  Hux walked over to his dresser and pulled out a cigarette. He lit it and took a deep drag before speaking. “I won't lie to you and say I had no ulterior motives in attempting a friendship,” he said. “However, my intentions weren't only cruel. I see the benefits of having you as an ally, but you also fascinate me.” He sighed, took another drag. He could feel Hux’s hesitancy as he chose his next words. “You and I are very similar. We're both conflicted and unsure of our decisions.”

  Hux let out a breath of smoke. Kylo watched him silently. Hux looked over at him, still sprawled over his bed, arms on his stomach as he absently rubbed his wrist.

  “I think highly of you, Ren. I would think you're above manipulation.”

  Hux’s eyes lingered on him. Ren didn't have to read his mind to feel the attraction. The man was making a point of not looking below Kylo’s face, to the point where it was more obvious the if he'd just looked. Kylo felt suddenly smug about this.

  “You're attracted to me,” Ren said.

  Hux scowled at him. “You’re inebriated, and not five minutes ago you were trying to kill me. Now is not the time for this conversation. Or ever. Get out of my bed, I'll call for one of your crew to take you to your quarters.”

  Hux reached for the telecommunicator pad on the wall and Kylo stopped him with the Force.

  “Wait, I'm not drunk.”

  Hux barked out a laugh. “I can smell the booze on you from here. You can't honestly be trying to convince me you're sober.”

  “No, I… let me stay? Please?” He was above rational thought at this point, all he knew was that he didn't want to go back to where Rey and his crew were.

  Hux stared at him for a moment. “You're ridiculous.” Kylo didn’t speak, only maintained eye contact. “Fine, not in my bed. This is not up for debate. You can sleep on the couch in the main room.”

  Kylo accepted this and stood. Hux produced a clean pair of night clothes from his drawer and tossed them to Ren. “Clean up. I'll prepare the couch while you dress.”

  Kylo grabbed the clothes and moved to Hux’s restroom. It took him a moment to dress. After wrestling with the fabric for a moment he emerged from the restroom. 

  Hux was smoothing a sheet over his little couch. It was a small, conservative grey, stark couch but the sheet was white and crisp, fresh from the laundry sector.

  “I contacted your crew to tell them you haven't done anything and that you're staying here tonight. Sleep.”

  Kylo didn't argue. He was at the stage of drunkenness where he was overcome with exhaustion. However, he was sobering faster than he'd have liked. He knew he had to do damage control the next day. Rey wouldn't be pleased with him. She wouldn't be mad either, though. No, she'd pity him. She'd use that gentle voice, like she was coaxing a stray animal to her hand, and try to get Kylo to see what was wrong. The thought made his stomach churn. He'd rather her yell and curse at him than pity him.

~

  “Ren, wake up.”

  Kylo startled awake. His vision was all light for a moment, causing him to flinch and close his eyes. A hand lifted his own and placed a cool glass in it. He opened his eyes once more and saw Hux pressing a glass into his palm. 

  “Here,” he said, offering his other hand. He dropped two green pills into Kylo’s palm. “It'll help with the hangover.”

  Kylo took them without question. The relief was immediate, blessedly. The clarity of mind let him assess his situation.

  Hux was dressed, mostly. His dress shirt was open to his tank top and he didn't have any shoes on. Around his slender neck was a light ring of bruises, not dark but still apparent against his white skin.

  “I'm sorry,” he said quietly once Hux had walked away.

  “Don't bother. You're not the first and you won't be the last being to try to kill me.”

  Kylo glanced away, at the floor. He wanted to bring up the other thing, the attraction, but he couldn't muster the courage to do so. He wondered when he’d suddenly been turned back into a school boy, stumbling over his words at the sight of his crush. 

  “What's the time?” he asked. 

  “0600. Your credit chips will be delivered to your quarters at 0700, as requested.”

  Kylo stood. He was unsteady on his feet for a moment but recovered.

  “Will you be seeing us off tonight?”

  Hux turned to look at him, surprised. “I… suppose I might if my schedule allows it.”

  Kylo nodded, pleased with the answer.

  “How much do you remember from last night?” Hux asked. He crossed his arms over his chest.

  “All of it.”

  “Very well. When it is convenient, we shall talk. In the meantime, we're both very busy today.”

  Kylo was ushered away. He really didn't want to face his crew, especially Rey. He had proved her correct. He was an irrational, unthinking murderer. He was closer to the dark than to the light.

  He cursed. Shirking his responsibilities would do nothing but validate the points, so he walked silently to his room. Poe wasn't yet awake. Kylo dressed silently, then crept away to the ship to begin preparations. It was already fueled and Phasma was scheduled to load the data at 0800. Full power was restored, so Kylo began the tedious process of running the test cycles.

  He was an hour in when Rey boarded. Kylo didn't acknowledge her until she forced him to by clearing her throat.

 “We should talk.”

  “I'm busy right now.”

  “Have Finn run the test cycles. It is his job.”

  Kylo sighed. He tapped the console screen with perhaps a bit too much force, then sent a message to Finn asking him to board and finish the tests.

  He turned to Rey, unspeaking.

  “What happened last night was--” Rey started.

  “A product of too much alcohol. Nothing more.”

  Rey stared at him. He could feel the question on her mind, but she couldn't bring herself to ask it. Kylo gripped the console. “I'm not falling to the dark. We all get angry, it's not an emotion unique to the dark side.”

  “It's not the anger I'm worried about, it's how you deal with it. Your first reaction to finding Hux manipulating you was to kill him.”

  Kylo swallowed. He hated when she was right.

  “I was not in my normal state of mind.”

 She was unconvinced. Kylo turned away from her, back to the console. He heard footsteps on the ramp as Phasma came up to load the mission data. Finn was behind her, looking nervous as he glanced between Rey and Kylo.

  “Is your ship ready for a data transfer?” Phasma asked.

  “Yes, here,” Ren said. He stepped inside and gave Phasma control of the ship. 

  She pulled out a data chip and put it into the port. The other three were silent as Phasma worked. Rey was frustrated, Finn was anxious. Kylo was in Phasma’s orderly, quiet mind. It was like meditation, being in the peace. She was thinking of work, of what she would have for dinner that night, of how to more efficiently organize her crew. A memory resurfaced for a moment, of Hux saying she was the most efficient Captain in the fleet. Ren didn't dwell on the memory much, but he did a double-take. In the memory they were both wearing uniforms of some sort of memory. 

  Kylo almost pulled the memory back, but thought twice. Phasma would notice, or at least suspect if he did so. The memory was lost to him, but it didn't leave his mind. 

~

  The  _ Knight _ was refueled and ready for takeoff. The final test cycle was in progress, and after that they would begin the takeoff cycle. Kylo was anxious to get to work. It wasn't a terribly exciting job but it was still a job, and he was happy to have something to occupy himself with. With everything happening, his whole crew could use a momentary distraction.

  Hux was there to see him off. Kylo wasn't sure if he would be, he'd asked mostly to see how he'd react. It wasn't standard for the captain of the ship to see off every mission, especially not an outsourced mission. 

  “Man the consoles, would you,” he asked Rey.

  She gave him a knowing look. She'd felt Hux enter the docking bay as well.

  The ramp was still open as they were still hauling supplies into the cargo hold. Kylo moved past the crew to where Hux had stopped to watch them.

  “I didn't think you'd show,” he said.

  Hux eyed him for a moment. “I didn't think so either. But I had a short break and figured I'd fulfill your wishes.”

  Kylo snorted derisively, and Hux looked equal parts amused and insulted. 

  Hux harrumphed. “If you have no business with me there's other, more productive things I could be doing with my downtime.”

  “I just wanted to say goodbye before I left.”

  He raised an eyebrow at Kylo’s words and Kylo recoiled at how they sounded. 

  “There's trackers on your ship, should you decide to run off.”

  “That's not my intent,” Kylo said. “I just assumed us on friendly enough terms to bid each other farewell on missions.”

  Hux's eyes flickered to his lips. Kylo swallowed hard.

  “I see. Then, farewell. I'll sure I'll be seeing you soon enough, though.”

  The silence that fell between them was heated.

  “I believe we're ready for takeoff,” he said. 

  “Of course. Be safe,” Hux said nonchalantly, but there was a thread of honesty in his tone that made Kylo’s heart ache.

  “And you.”


	4. Chapter 4

  The journey to the Dominus system would be just under a day at hyperspace, by Kylo’s calculations. With a day to cool off and lots of work to be done, he and Rey were both in good moods.

  After the initial takeoff preparations were made, Kylo took his place at the helm of the ship while the crew bustled around. In hyperspace there wasn't much for being him to do besides wait. Poe and Rey kept things in order while Kylo went over the data Phasma transferred on his datapad.

  Hux said that the defector would be waiting for them at a hotel in Baros. The room number was 107, ground level, and he was to knock once and say a phrase, then quickly lead her to the ship. It was fairly easy, the large sum they would be receiving would be for the risk. The First Order was an incredibly powerful, ruthless organization and they dealt with defectors harshly and mercilessly. The measures they had to go through to keep Finn safe from harm were great.

  He wondered what Hux’s organization would want with one measly defector, and what a defector was doing reaching out to them for assistance. She had been a Stormtrooper, faceless among the ranks. She wouldn't have any important information, none that would be worth as much as what they were getting for retrieving her.

  Kylo shut off his datapad and set it aside.

  “Is everything well?” he asked Poe. The man was in his seat, leaned back comfortably keeping an eye on the console. Autopilot was active, but Poe watched in case.

  Poe looked up briefly to grin at him “Perfect.”

  “Good,” Kylo said.

  Poe was full of energy. The pilot had specialized in starfighters, especially TIE/LN fighters, but when they had left the Resistance he had become more adept at cargo and private ships. He had been the most skilled pilot of the Resistance back then.

  After he returned from Jedi training Poe was 32 core world years and Ren was 26. Kylo had been somewhat looked down upon after he abandoned his Jedi training, but Poe never treated Kylo as a lesser person. He didn't harbor the suspicion that the others had about Ren's return, he didn't treat him like a bomb about to go off. It was a respect the others didn't give him, and Ren appreciated his company during dinners.

  When he decided to leave the Resistance, Poe offered to accompany him.

  The Resistance had been in turmoil for quite some time, with rumors that they were employing Empire techniques to get information from prisoners and several failed attacks that were poorly planned and riddled with faults. Poe was uneasy at the accusations. He was an optimist, with a sunny disposition. Hearing that the organization he'd devoted his life to was torturing people made him sick to his stomach. The decision to leave wasn't an easy one, but Ren assuaged his worries with offers to bring him back if he so wished.

  Ren leaving was another stick in the cog of the Resistance. Even though they left with no animosity, they said he was going to train with a Sith lord. Untrue, but Ren didn't stay long enough to dispel the rumors.

  Rey followed. They were as close as brother and sister, and she had a wanderlust from being stuck on the same base all her life. She said she might come back one day after she felt satisfied with her travels, and Leia said they were always welcome back.

  Kylo had scoffed under his breath. He would never come back. Rey and Poe perhaps, but never himself.

  “Have you eaten today?”

  Rey’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He had to think about whether or not he had, and the growl in his stomach at the thought of food made him realize he hadn't.

  He shook his head, and Rey handed him an already made ration.

  “Thank you,” he said.

  “Kylo, can you take over here? I'm going to get some rest,” Rey asked. Poe had went for sleep awhile ago. They were at a steady enough pace that it was safe to have one pilot at the helm.

  “Okay. Where's Finn?”

  “He’s in the engine room still.”

  Kylo nodded, then took her seat. She stopped in the doorway and turned to him.

  “I'm sorry for earlier. I… know it's a touchy subject. We're your friends, though. It's a burden you don't have to carry alone.”

  Kylo bit his tongue. “I know. Get some rest, I'll wake you if I need help.”

  He could feel her eyes on him for a moment before she turned back and went to the bunks.

  Kylo stared at the blinking lights of the console a long moment, mulling over her words.

~

  After a whole night cycle they reached the planet, ahead of schedule. They refueled at a station, then sought out the defector. Her coordinates indicated her nearby, and there was only one hotel on the little desert planet.

  Finn retrieved her alone. Everything went smoothly. His radars sensed no enemies and Rey had ventured into the small town and read the few inhabitants. It was a neutral planet and it's people were simple glass makers and moisture farmers.

  After the defector, a human girl named Lirri, late into her 30s, was secure Kylo made contact with the _Finalizer_. They sent him their coordinates and they left.

  Lirri was very withdrawn. Kylo dug into her mind and found her feeling frightened. She was scared of the First Order going after her, scared that Hux’s organization was a trap.

  Kylo didn't try to reassure her. He stayed in his command chair and let Rey and Finn coddle the girl. Rey was using words rather than the Force to try to calm the girl. It was working somewhat, but Kylo knew the Force would be much more effective. He didn't intervene though. He blocked the girl and her anxieties from his mind and focused on work.

  Kylo rested once things settled. Everyone else had rested so the cabin was empty. He unclothed down to his boxer-briefs and undershirt and climbed under the starch blanket.

  Rey awoke him when they were near the _Finalizer_. He sent a request for boarding to the ship and was approved almost immediately. Poe maneuvered them easily into the docking bay, and they were greeted this time with no soldiers, only Hux and Phasma.

  “Well done, I was expecting this to take at least three days,” Hux said.

  “It wasn't challenging. Everything went exactly to plan.”

  The pleased smile that spread over Hux's mouth affected Kylo more than it should've. “Good. The informants we hired in the Dominus system are new, we weren't sure if they would be trustworthy or not. I hated to use them on such an important mission but we had no other choice,” he said. He turned suddenly to Phasma. “Show Lirri to the medbay and have them do a psych analysis. After that, her quarters.”

  “Yes sir,” Phasma said. She placed a gentle hand on the girl's elbow and led her from the docking bay.

  “Ren, meet me in my office as soon as is convenient for your report on the the mission.”

  “Okay,” he said. Hux turned and left, leaving only he and his crew in the bay.

  Kylo exited first. He went to his room and took a hot shower. There had fresh clothes waiting for him in the drawer when he got out; the clothes he’d sent to the laundry sector. They were simple black trousers, a loose black tunic worn from years of use, and a longish jacket with many pockets.

  He set them on the dresser and put on more comfortable clothes. The stock of day and pajama clothes had been replenished in their absence. He fastened his belt, still, and clipped on his saber.

  Hux was working on his datapad when he walked in. He was barely spared a glance, but he greeted him curtly.

  “Ren.”

  “Hux.” He seated himself across from Hux. After a moment he added, “Have you a first name?”

  “Armitage, but I prefer to be called by my last name.”

  Kylo didn't reply. Hux looked engrossed in his work. His brows were scrunched and his lips were pursed. Kylo brushed his mind over with the Force and felt the anxiety. Not stress, not tension, anxiety.

  Suddenly he looked up and Ren was afraid that he'd felt him in his mind. He scooted the datapad away and focused his attention on Ren.

  “Apologies, something came up. So, for the report?”

  Ren recounted the mission to him. It was fairly standard with no hitches so it didn't take long. Hux was tapping away at his datapad and interjecting with questions every so often. Finally, when Kylo was done, he hit enter on his datapad and shut it off.

  “Well done. I'm assuming you'll want the rest of your payment in four credit chips like before?”

  “Yes,” Kylo said.

  “They'll be ready in four cycles. As before.”

  Kylo nodded. For a moment they were silent. Kylo wanted to do something, anything. He wanted to kiss Hux, to pull him close and shove him against the wall like the fantasies he'd conjured in his mind. He wished Hux would bring down the barriers so Kylo could know what he wanted as well.

  “You're very emotive,” Hux commented. “I can almost read your thoughts just from the look on your face.”

  “Can you? What am I thinking, then?” Kylo asked, trying to make his face as blank as possible.

  “You're aroused. Perhaps not sexually, not yet at least.”

  Kylo swallowed. “And how do you figure?”

  Delicately, Hux pulled off one glove. “I can see it in your eyes. Your pupils are absolutely blown. Your cheeks are flushed. You keep staring at my lips. I doubt you even realize you're doing it.”

  “You're doing it as well.”

  And Hux smirked. He laid his other glove over the first on the desk. “Yes, I am.”

  He stood and crossed over around the desk. He placed a hand over Kylo’s cheek before leaning down to meet his lips.

  His lips were soft but hungry against Kylo’s, and where Kylo inexperienced Hux made up for in gentle guidance. Kylo was impatient. He navigated Hux into his lap. The chair protested under the weight of two full grown men, but neither cared.

  His hands came up to touch Hux. There wasn't much exposed skin, but Kylo sought out every inch that was. Hux moved away to undress. Kylo had never hated professional fashion as much as he did while watching Hux pull all those layers off of him. When he was finally down to just his undershirt Kylo reached up to him. He traced his fingers over all the bare skin he could reach. Hux was slender, but not lanky. He had slight muscle definition but it was clear his job required little activity beyond desk work.

  Still, Hux’s body was a sight to behold. He was spotted almost imperceptibly with small orange freckles on his arms, stomach, chest. They tapered out over his neck, and he had few on his face.

  Lower than Hux’s stomach was his hips. He was visibly hard through his starch slacks. They were already somewhat tight on Hux, but now he could see the outline of Hux’s cock. Kylo shuddered. The sight alone made his own cock twitch.

  “If you're done ogling me, I'd quite like to get on with it,” Hux said, amusement lining his tone.

  Kylo didn't argue. He pulled Hux back down for a kiss and ran his hands over his body.

  After a moment Hux pulled back and grabbed Kylo’s wrist. He unfolded himself from Kylo’s lap and tugged gently.

  “Come on, let's go to my bed.”

  Kylo felt could hardly believe his luck as Hux led him through the door to his bed.

~

  Waking up in Hux’s room was vastly different the second time around. For one, he woke when Hux did. He was tucked beneath Kylo’s arm so when he sat up he jostled Kylo.

  “Ren,” he said, nudging Kylo in the ribs. His voice was hoarse with sleep and, perhaps, something else. Kylo stirred from half sleep to wakefulness at the elbowing.

  “Hm?” he mumbled.

  “Wake up. My shift starts in two hours.”

  Kylo dressed in a haze. The timekeeper on Hux’s wall read 0500. Kylo wasn't a late sleeper but even that was a ridiculous time to be conscious.

  Hux stepped out of the bathroom. His hair was damp and he wore only his underclothes. He spotted Kylo buttoning his shirt lazily and regarded him.

  “If you'd like to use the shower you may. It wouldn't take any genius to figure out what we did last night just based on your looks.”

  Kylo shook his head. “I'll shower in my room.”

  Hux nodded and moved to his wardrobe. Upon opening it Kylo saw that it's contents were sparse. He seemed to have a few copies of this typical black and grey uniform, but not much else.

  Kylo moved to the main room, or office. His jacket was at the threshold, mixed with Hux’s clothes. He used the Force to bring them all to him, then picked his coat out. He scooted the pile just inside Hux’s door with his boot, then stepped inside.

  “Will we do that again?” Kylo asked.

  Hux met his gaze through the mirror he combed his hair at. He was dressed now. Besides his hair he was his professional self again. Of course, even seeing him all put together again Kylo couldn't help but remember him pulled apart, muttering praises while Kylo swallowed his cock.

  “I wouldn't be abject to it.”

  It was a terribly vague answer but Kylo accepted it. “Nor would I.”

  Hux looked pleased. “Very well. You have my communicator line, and I have yours.”

  Kylo nodded.

  He tried to enter his quarters as quietly as possible but years of being criminals had tuned his crew to be light sleepers.

  “Kylo?” Poe asked blearily, squinting at the bright light flooding in from the hall. Kylo stepped in and the door hissed shut behind him.

  “Sorry to wake you, go back to sleep,” he said.

  With a wave of his hand Poe fell back to the mattress, snoring as he had been before Kylo walked in.

  Kylo himself walked through to the bathroom. He sent his dirty clothes to the laundry sector, then took a long shower. He felt almost bad scrubbing Hux’s scent off of him. That spicy cologne he wore was potent and Kylo almost liked smelling it on himself.

  He climbed out and dried himself, then dressed in clean day clothes.

  He had a message from Rey on his tablet when he went back into the bedroom.

  _'Meet me in my quarters.- REY’_

Kylo groaned. He knew what this would be about and it was far too early for him to want to deal with it.

  Still, he pulled on his boots and coat and went to her quarters.

  Finn was nowhere to be seen when Kylo entered the room. He probably left as soon as he learned she'd be “speaking” with him. Kylo didn't blame him. If he could escape to some other part of the ship he would.

  “You're sleeping with Hux.”

  He stared at Rey for a beat.

  “What?” He wished he’d had the foresight to come up with some excuse before meeting her.

  Rey crossed her arms over her chest. She cut a slight figure but her aura was imposing. As she glared up at Kylo he did feel ashamed.

  “You're sleeping with Hux, don't play dumb. He's using you, Kylo!” she said. She wasn't angry, just… disappointed, maybe. Or sorry for him. Both were equally terrible.

  “He’s not-” Kylo cut off. He knew Hux had no ulterior motives in sleeping him. His guards had dropped in the heat of the moment and every emotion the man felt was crisp and clear. Of course, this would be difficult to communicate on a way that didn't reveal too much, so he stopped himself. “I know for a fact that he has no ulterior motives in sleeping with me.”

  Some of his thoughts must have broadcast to Rey’s mind because she cringed a bit. “Either way you have a bias which will affect the final vote.”

  “The vote has been decided long ago.”

  Rey sighed. Kylo was right. They knew Hux’s organization was trustworthy enough to not slaughter them after the job, and the pay was more than they sometimes made in a year. They craved stability above all, and Hux could provide this. It was hardly an argument anymore.

  “Just because a decision has been made doesn't mean there's nothing to discuss. Terms must be made,” she said. She was quiet as she chose her next words carefully. “Terms must be made, and if your bias leans towards Hux you may not be in as clear a mind as you need to be to discuss them.”

  “My job comes before all else. There will be no bias, regardless of what may be between Hux and I.”

  Rey gave him a doubtful look. He gritted his teeth and stood, then walked over to the door. “I am very busy today, as are the rest of you. So if you'll excuse me.” And with that, he left.


	5. Chapter 5

  Kylo had scanned the cafeteria with the Force before entering. He wasn't in a conversational mood and he didn't want to run across anyone he knew.

  He settled with his meal in a lonely corner of the cafeteria and looked over data sheets. He’d been forwarded reports on his most recent mission and read them over boredly. Finances, numbers, etc never caught his attention but as Captain he was obliged to look them over.

  He heard someone slide into the seat across from him and felt disappointment in his gut. He looked up and saw Poe, smiling happily at him. The lesser of the evils, he supposed. Poe never tried to lecture him.

  “Hey, Kylo. What's going on?”

  Kylo closed the datapad and shrugged. He could feel the unspoken question at the forefront of Poe’s mind, but he knew the man had enough decency to not ask.

  “Looking over reports. Our mission was said to be very efficient and well done.”

  “Really?” Poe seemed genuinely happy about this. “Anything about the piloting?”

   He brought up the reports again. “Yes. Though nothing good.”

  Poe scowled, then reached over and pulled the datapad to him. “Good. I'll take it.”

  “They only docked points for fuel use. Our ship is outdated and uses more fuel than modernized ships.”

  Poe nodded. “When-- If we sign with the organization we can upgrade the ship, right? I suppose it's not as important if we aren't the ones paying for the fuel but it's on our best interests to keep the thing from becoming outdated.”

  Kylo considered this. Finn was in charge of the mechanics and he’d long been bothering Kylo and Rey about upgrades. The communications console and the engine were due for upgrades as well, though both worked perfectly as was. 

  “I'm not averse to the idea, though you'd have to bring it up with Finn. I'm sure he’d be more than happy to do it.”

  Poe grinned.

  Kylo was pleased that Poe was thinking in the long term. He hadn't talked to Finn much on the matter, and Rey was still on the fence, so having Poe ready and eager to treatise was refreshing. He supposed he couldn't shirk his duties for long. They had an extra week before they had to come to a solid conclusion but he had to talk to Finn and Rey soon.

  After dinner Kylo wandered the ship. He hadn't ventured past the east housing block but he had the codes to most of the public areas of the ship. The ship itself was massive. Kylo could get lost in the belly of the ship, had he not a map on his datapad. 

  It made him more curious as to how Hux managed to take the ship in the first place. Kylo hadn't made a habit of hanging around First Order air force but of the ships he'd seen, this was certainly the largest. Resurgent class starships were expensive to make, it certainly would not have been an easy task to take this one. 

  Walking through the long halls gave him room to think. He walked slowly down the halls and let himself get lost in thought. There was a lot to contemplate, and he’d hardly had enough time to mull it all over by the time he reached a dead end.

  He made his way back to his room. His crew was in Rey and Finn’s room. It was ridiculous to feel offended by that, but he still was. He pressed his hand to the scanner on his own room and the metal doors hissed open for him. 

  He took a long shower. The hot water relaxed his muscles, but upon stepping into the cold ship he regretted it. There were heaters, he could see the vents, but it was expensive to heat such a large ship.

  He had the bed that night. The guest bed wasn't as comfortable as Hux’s, and Kylo also missed having a warm body beside his.

  He sighed and flipped over. He knew already this was going to be a long night.

~

  Kylo called for a meeting the next day. At 0700 they met in the commons room on the  _ Knight _ , he and his crew. They sat around the table, he and Rey at opposite ends of the table with Finn and Poe to his left and right.

  “We must discuss the agreement,” he said. “We have a week and some before we must give a definitive answer, and if anyone has anything they would like to discuss, we must work it out now.”

  “What did Hux say to the questions I had.”

  Kylo froze. He’d completely forgot about Rey’s list of questions. “I, uh, never got the chance to discuss them with him.”

  Rey scowled at him, and he added “I'll message him about a meeting tonight. You can join if you'd like, hear his answers for yourself.”

  She eyed him. “Fine.”

  Quickly changing the subject, Ren turned to Finn. “I haven't heard your opinion on the matter.”

~

  Hux booked him for 1800 that evening. He dressed in his normal clothes, rather than the standard issue clothes. They were more comfortable than the standard clothes. The paper Rey had given him was tucked into his breast pocket in his coat. He met Rey in front of their rooms and he showed her to Hux’s office. 

  “I best not feel like a third wheel during this,” she said, nudging him in the rib.

  Kylo was startled at her joke, but he appreciated it. She didn't hold grudges for long, Kylo always loved that about her. 

  “We're professionals,” he said, rolling his eyes.

  They reached the office and Kylo used the palm scanner. Hux was busy at work, but when they walked in he set aside the datapad. 

  “Ren, Rey. Have a seat,” he greeted. He gestured to the seats adjacent to him. They sat, and Kylo pulled out the paper.

  “We have questions about the job offer,” Rey began.

  Hux’s eyes moved to her. “As expected,” he said. He straightened out in his seat, ready for their questions.

  Rey took the paper and started with the first. “What would our cargo type be?”

  “It would vary, however it would mostly be supply runs or refugee pick-ups, as your previous run was.”

  Rey seemed pleased with this. She produced a pen from her coat and marked the question off. 

  “What would our pay be?”

  “It would depend on many factors, such as risk, cargo, distance, et cetera. I'm not the one who calculates pay, but I review it before it gets approved.”

  Another one marked. 

  Kylo grew distracted. He knew he should be listening, and he was vaguely, but he wasn't much interested in the questions. He couldn't care less about the details, he just wanted to get this whole mess over with and get back to work. Ironing out every small detail with Rey and the crew had quickly become tedious.

  Instead he stared at Hux. The man looked good, and he couldn't help but be reminded of their activities two days ago. The memory was still vivid, though more a blur of flesh and teeth and fumbling hands. He wondered if Hux would agree to another go if asked. Kylo would certainly agree.

  He jerked to attention when Rey suddenly scooted her seat back and stood.

  “Thank you for your time, Captain,” she said, offering a hand to shake.

  “Please, there's no titles on this ship,” he said. He shook her hand and offered a warm smile. “If any more questions arise, feel free to contact me. As of now, the  _ Knight _ is my top priority.”

  Rey smiled back, pleased.

  Hux moved to shake Kylo’s hand.

  “Ren,” he said, the ghost of a smirk on his lips. 'Tonight?’ he mouthed when Rey looked down to slot the paper in her pocket.

  Kylo nodded once, then moved to follow Rey out of the office.

  Once they were in the hall, Rey turned to him. “He’s certainly a charmer,” she remarked. “He seems very military. I wonder if he was?” She looked at Kylo expectantly as if he had the answer.

  “He doesn't like speaking of his past.”

  Rey accepted this without question.

  “What are your thoughts on the offer now?” Kylo asked 

  Rey was quiet for a moment. “I haven't any qualms with signing. Everything seemed fair,” she said, crossing her arms.

  “What about Finn? He was vague during the meeting this morning.”

  “He thinks the same. He's been talking to Lirri. Apparently Hux takes in a lot of First Order defectors, this organization is very talked about among the ranks. They have spies that assist in the process, help them leave safely.”

  Kylo was surprised at the new information. “That seems very… nice.”

  “Uncharacteristically so. Unless he himself is a defector.”

  It made a lot of sense. With everything he'd seen thus far; Phasma’s memory, the ship, it would be the most logical assumption.

  “It's rude to speculate on other people's lives,” Kylo said without any venom. Though he was now was now terribly curious himself.


	6. Chapter 6

  Hux’s fingers traced over his back absently. Kylo was dazed, the golden light of afterglow basking over them. The air was stale with cigarette smoke, the smoke billowing off the end drifting up, to be sucked into the vent. The only thought in his mind was the slow drag of Hux’s fingers.

  He shuddered, sighing contentedly. His eyelids were heavy and he was on the precipice of sleep.

  “Your cousin is nice.”

  Kylo looked over at Hux. He looked slightly dazed, eyes half lidded, lying on his back with his arm at an angle as to stroke short trails over Kylo’s skin. 

  “Yes, she is. Stubborn and pugnacious but nice.”

  “Hm, must run in the family.”

  Kylo scowled at him, but Hux matched it with a sly grin. His eyes moved down to Kylo’s lips and Kylo swallowed. He wasn't sure what they were, and he wasn't sure if he could kiss him beyond sex.

  He looked away, wanting to maintain the afterglow for just a bit longer. 

  Hux stood up suddenly and crossed the room to the front room.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I have paperwork that's due tomorrow, I must finish it.”

  Kylo frowned. “Can it not wait?”

  “Are you not satiated?”

  “I mean, yes but-”

  “I won't be long, you're welcome to stay until I'm done.”

  He exited the room and Kylo groaned. He laid in the bed for a moment. Buried amongst the soft sheets on the plush bed, he couldn't sleep.

  He stood up and pulled on his shorts. Hux was sat on his desk, face illuminated blue by the hologram showing a starmap. He was tapping quickly on the datapad, glancing at the hologram every so often. 

  “Are you leaving?” His voice was carefully neutral.

  “Do you want me to?”

  Hux’s fingers stopped and he looked back at Kylo. “Not particularly, no.”

  Kylo stood in the doorway, holding Hux’s gaze. “Who were you before all this?”

  Hux’s eyes widened a fraction. “What do you mean?”

  “Who were you before you were leader of this ship? Before this organization existed?”

  Hux was quiet, stiff. “Why should I tell you?” he asked defensively. Kylo didn't back down. 

  “Because I asked.”

  Hux’s eyes narrowed. He turned back to his work but didn't touch it.

  “I was… I was the General of a First Order vessel, the  _ Dynasty _ .”

  Kylo stared at him for a spell before speaking again, slowly. “What made you leave?”

  “The leader of the First Order, some pseudo-Sith who called himself Snoke, cared more about his own personal agenda than those of the First Order.” His voice was bitter and spiteful.

  “So you left and, what, what is your goal with this?” Kylo asked.

  “I plan to kill Snoke and take control of the First Order.”

  This startled Kylo. There was spite in Hux’s voice, barely concealed anger and frustration rolling off of him in waves. 

  “Tell me about Snoke. You've told me about him, that he uses the Force?”

  This piqued Hux’s interest. “Yes, he does, very well. They say he's the most powerful being in the Galaxy.”

  “And you hope to kill him?” Kylo crossed his arms over his chest.

  “Yes, I do,” Hux said defensively.

  “What is his goal?”

  “He wants to kill the last living Jedi, Luke Skywalker.”

  Kylo froze, the name hitting him like a wall. “Luke Skywalker?”

  “Yes, the man who played a major role in bringing down the Empire.”

  Kylo turned and disappeared into the room. He started tugging on his clothes hurriedly, and Hux followed him. 

  “Hells, Ren, what's gotten into you?”

  “Luke Skywalker is my uncle! Rey’s father! How close is Snoke to succeeding his goal?”

  Hux gaped at him. “I-I haven't a clue, I left years ago and he never clued me in on anything. I only ran supplies for him,” he said.

  Kylo tugged on his boots then moved past Hux and out into the hall. He rushed down the hall to Rey and Finn’s quarters, then knocked loudly on the door. She was asleep, but Kylo tried to urge her mind into wakefulness as best he could. It wasn't long before the door slid open and a startled Rey stood there. 

  “We need to talk.”

~

  After fumbled explanations and a calming down from both Kylo and Rey, they organized an emergency meeting with Hux. He explained to them everything he knew about Snoke, which wasn't much. Rey’s mind was loud, whirring, dark. Ren couldn't provide adequate comfort but he offered a hand on her shoulder.

  “We have to go back,” she said, turning to Ren sharply. Her eyes were wide and frightened.

  Kylo flinched. “I-”

  “No, this is… I know you don't want to but if Snoke kills my father I…” She choked back a sob.

  He looked to Hux, pleading for help.

  “If know you're afraid, but we must keep our heads on. Would the Resistance be able to aid in killing Snoke?” Hux said. That wasn't what Kylo wanted at all.

  “Most likely, though we haven't been in contact with the Resistance for nearly ten years. I wouldn't even know where to find them,” Kylo admitted. He kept a hand on Rey’s shoulder, though she’d managed to hold back the tears. He could still feel panic radiating off of her, or maybe that was his own. 

  “If we go to the base they were at when we left we may be able to find them through the Force,” Rey said. “It's a long shot but it's worth a try, right?”

  Kylo was doubtful, but it really was their only shot. The Resistance was careful, and they'd be more so with the rise of the First Order. 

  Kylo looked up at Hux. “You're loyal to the First Order, would you be willing to put aside these loyalties?”

  “For the time being, yes. I'd give my life for even the chance to kill Snoke.” There was a passionate look in his eye. “As long as they don't try to indoctrinate me into the Resistance we should be just fine.”

  Kylo forced down a smile, but Hux noticed and got an amused look in his eye.

  “What a night,” Hux said. He stood up, folded his hands behind his back. He could see Hux as a General, back straight, oozing demand for respect. He wasn't in his uniform now, as the meeting had been quite sudden, but when he was it was reminiscent of a military uniform. He wondered if that was his old military uniform. Poe wore his Resistance fighter jacket even years after they left. It was for nostalgia. Though Poe fully intended to return to the Resistance one day. Perhaps Hux did as well. Either way, Hux didn't like to show it but he was a passionate man, and he could see him wearing his old uniform for nostalgia. “Shall we change course for that base you speak of?”

  “Yes. The base was on Jhas Krill, eleventh moon of Jhas in the Hoth system,” Rey said.

  He typed rapidly on his datapad, then looked up. “Very well, where we’re at now it should take a week to arrive with hyperspace.”


	7. Chapter 7

After debriefing his crew, Kylo joined Hux on the bridge, which Phasma granted him security clearance to. 

  “Ren,” he greeted. He was stood in the middle of the room, stoic, overlooking the busy crew.

  “Hux.”

  “Are you busy?” Kylo asked. 

  “Depends on your business,” Hux said, raising an eyebrow.

  Kylo scowled at him. “Nothing like that,” he said quietly so only Hux could hear. “I wish to discuss the plan.”

  “Very well. Phasma, take the bridge.”

  Hux spun on his heel and walked out of the room. Kylo followed, and once they were in the empty halls he spoke. 

  “You say you can set aside your hatred for the Resistance, but can the rest of your crew?” the asked.

  “My crew is loyal to me above all, it's why they left the First Order to begin with. I won't have you doubt the loyalties of my crew, Ren,” he said, watching Kylo carefully. His voice was carefully neutral.

  Kylo stayed quiet. As much as he hated his father, he could never harbor I'll feelings toward his mother. He wished he could; she distrusted him, sent him away with Luke, doubted him, but he could not. And he would protect her at all costs if someone tried to hurt her during their visit. The only beings on the ship he cared about at all was his own crew and Hux. 

  “I don't distrust their loyalties, I distrust their decision making skills. No harm will come to General Organa.”

  “I'll be sure of it myself, Ren,” Hux said. The honesty in his tone let Kylo relax.

  “Thank you, Hux. There's one more matter I must bring up, though I'll admit it has little to do with the mission.”

  “Oh?” Hux looked at him curiously.

  “During your stint as General, did you have anything to do with the Starkiller?”

  Hux fell silent for a moment. “I had everything to do with the Starkiller. I designed it, I planned it, I fired it, and I destroyed it. Why?”

  “The Hosnian system had a few rebel bases as well as many Resistance sympathizers. They personally put a bounty on your head, I'm sure you're well aware of this.”

  Hux seemed to consider this. “If I set aside my grievances, they can too. After Snoke is dead, they can continue to hunt me if the wish, but I feel that their will to keep Skywalker alive will outweigh their will to kill a fallen General.” After a pause he added, “You should know, Ren, I have a will to live. If any of them fire upon me I will strike back, regardless of who’s pulling the trigger.”

  Kylo sighed. “I'll personally see to your safety, Hux. You needn't worry.”

  “Can your mystical powers keep me from death?” Hux wasn't being sardonic, he looked genuinely curious.

  “For most forms of assassination, yes.”

  They reached the cafeteria and Hux stopped at the entrance to look at Kylo.

  “I would very much like to hear more about your Force abilities. However, would you like to join me for a coffee first.”

~

  Hux was curious to a fault. This was what led them to the training room with Hux pointing a blaster at Kylo. It was set to kill, against Hux’s better judgement. Kylo was confident in his skills, he’d stopped numerous blaster bolts before from stronger blasters.

  “Ready?” Hux called.

  “Yes,” Kylo said. He stared at Hux across the way as he brought up his blaster and aimed at a point just above Kylo’s shoulder. “I'm flattered by your concern but I'm more insulted by your lack of faith in me.”

  Hux rolled his eyes and aimed right at Kylo’s forehead. Kylo grinned. “Better?”

  “Much, now fire.”

  The bolt was fast, but Kylo was sharp. It barely made it halfway to Kylo before it was stopped in mid-air with only a raise of his hand. Hux kept the shock off his face but Kylo could feel it coming off of him.

  He approached the bolt, red light flickering as the Force held it in place. Kylo met him beside it.

  “This is impossible,” Hux breathed. “Is it hard to do? To hold this in place?”

  “No. It's difficult to learn, but once you know how it's hardly an effort.”

 Hux placed his hand beside it. The Force was almost visible around it, rippling like a mirage around the bolt.

  “This is bloody absurd,” Hux said, dropping his arms to his side. Kylo grinned. 

  “What is?”

  “You and your damned wizard powers.”

  “Is this the first time you've seen the Force in use?” 

  “Yes, it is.”

  With a wave of a hand, Kylo released the bolt. It hit the steel wall across the gym uselessly.

  Kylo looked over at Hux. “The Force can be used for communication as well. If you lower your barriers.”

  Hux gave him a suspicious look, but opened his mind for Kylo. He didn't dig around, despite his want to. He could feel the allure of the memories and thoughts that Hux kept so well guarded when he entered his mind. All it would take to reach them was a gentle nudge, and the mystery that was Hux would be revealed. However, Hux trusted him, and Ren didn't want to tarnish that trust. He shoved aside the urges and projected his voice into Hux's mind. ‘ _ Can you hear me?’ _

  Judging by the way Hux jolted, he had. 

  “ _ Hells _ !” he exclaimed, out loud. Kylo laughed.

  “It's not that bad,” he said, and Hux scowled at him. “Rey and I use it all the time.”

  “I'm sorry, but I'm not quite used to other people talking in my mind for me,” he said dryly, and Kylo laughed again. Hux relaxed his shoulders and grinned. “You look lovely when you laugh.”

  The compliment took Kylo off guard. “Thank you?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Is it really so odd for me to be nice?”

  “Yes, it is.”

  Hux leaned forward and kissed him once, with no dirty intention, only a gentle press of lips. Somehow it was more potent than the filthy kisses they shared in bed. Perhaps because of the novelty behind it. It was the first kiss they shared that didn't lead to anything more. “Then I won't be nice anymore. Let's go back to the bridge, people will start to talk if we're gone too long.”

  Kylo smirked. “Don't want people thinking you're involved with the lowly criminals, do you?”

  Hux scoffed. “That of many things.”

  Kylo followed him out of the door and they parted ways. Kylo went to his ship and Hux returned to the bridge. Once he was alone in his room he reached up and pressed a hand to his lips. 

  He was even less sure of what they were now, which was trivial in light of all the other numerous problems at hand. Still, he would find small comfort in knowing what Hux thought of him. A partner, perhaps. Though he knew that was wishful thinking. More likely he was a fling, a distraction from the monotony of his work. A release to his stress.

  Kylo sighed, feeling like he'd been doused with cold water. It was for the best, he thought. The higher he got his hopes the more it would hurt when he was let down. It was best to be realistic.

~

  After this, Kylo took a much needed nap. He woke up too many hours later when Poe came in.

  “Hey, we were looking for you,” Poe said, looking somewhat surprised to see him.

  Kylo frowned at him. “This wasn't the first place you checked.”

  “We figured you'd be sleeping with Hux from now on.”

  Kylo huffed. “What did you need?”

  “Dunno, ask Rey, she's in the cafeteria with Finn. I don't think it's very important, probably just wondering where you ran off to.”

  Kylo pulled himself out of bed with a sigh. He dressed in his old clothes then left for the cafeteria. He could use some coffee anyways, sleeping for so long had taken it's toll. He wondered idly if Hux had slept. The man was addicted to his work so it was feasible he hadn't.

  He retrieved a cup of caf from the lunch counter and joined Rey and Finn in their corner booth. They greeted him cheerily, which was a good sign. Kylo was in no mood to quarrel, and Rey had been distressed when he last saw her.

  “Poe said you were looking for me?” he said.

  “Yeah, I need to talk to you. Nothing bad, maybe. Let me finish eating first though,” she said. 

  Kylo nodded.

  Kylo worked on his datapad while they talked. He read over incoming reports on the mission. They were making good time with no incidents to speak of, and at the pace they were going they'd be one day ahead of schedule. He wasn't sure if this was good or bad. As glad as he was that things were going smoothly this would mean they'd reach the Resistance base sooner. Provided they actually found it. 

  Once Rey was done she led Kylo to the ship. Finn went to the rooms with Poe so they'd be alone. Kylo found this disconcerting.

  She shut the entrance then sat at the little table. Kylo sat across from her.

  “What's going on?” he asked.

  She chose her words carefully, then slowly spoke, “You're Force Bonding with Hux.”

  Kylo gaped at her for a moment. “ _ What _ ?”

  “I felt it. It was only for a moment, but I felt your Force signature change. When this happened you were alone with Hux,” she said. 

  “I'm doing no such thing-”

  “Perhaps not consciously but it's certainly happening.”

  “I would feel it if the were,” he said, crossing his arms. 

  “Not if you were distracted.”

  Kylo scowled at her, unable to think of a response.  

  “Don't be ashamed, it's not something you can control. I think it's kind of cute,” she said, then smiled. 

  “This is ridiculous,” Kylo said, then stood and left the ship. 

~

  He thought about Hux that night. His crew was asleep but he was in his ship. He regretted wasting the remainder of Poe’s whiskey, as he felt in need of a strong drink. Alcohol was contraband on this ship and the only other person permitted to have it was Hux. And didn't want to see Hux then. 

  He sighed and buried his face in his hands. He felt like crap. After mulling over Rey’s words he decided that yes, she probably did know better than he and yes, it wouldn't be unrealistic to think that he and Hux were Force bonding.

  It wasn't that uncommon to Force bond. It happened between lovers, family, and best friends alike, as long as there was a love (or at least fondness) there. While he liked Hux a lot he didn't quite love him. A few screws and a kiss wasn't enough to win him over. But during that kiss he felt very… attached to Hux. Fondness. 

 He contemplated telling Hux, but he could imagine him getting angry, perhaps even breaking things off. For some selfish reason he didn't want that, so he decided against telling him. If the bond completed Hux would figure it out. That was a bridge he could cross when they got to it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be updating twice a week now, Tuesdays and Fridays. I'm pretty backed up on fics right now. I have five or so ready to be posted, that have been done for a few months now. I don't really like posting while there's another fic being posted, so I'm expediting this one. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, and leave a comment if you're enjoying it! <3

  Kylo avoided Rey and Hux for the most part. He adjusted his sleep schedule so they didn't meet and threw himself into work. He didn't have many responsibilities as a sort-of guest on a massively populated vessel, but by the time they’d reached Jhas Krill he’d memorized the documents and performed several maintenance tests on the  _ Knight _ .

  The air of Jhas Krill was thick and humid, but breathable. It was sort of beautiful, with Jhas, it's orbit, taking up a large portion of the sky. The gas giant was purple and orange, swirling slowly like a cloud of smoke stuck in a crystal ball. Of the planets other 23 moons, a few were visible from the surface of Jhas Krill. Jhas Krill was the largest of the 24, though, and the only one livable. Even then the swampy surface and overgrown plant life of the moon made it difficult to maintain structure or life. The Resistance had built their barracks on large metal slats stilted above the marshy ground. 

  They weren't able to land the  _ Finalizer _ so they sent down a shuttle with a few select people to the surface. Rey, Kylo, and Hux were of those selected. They docked near the Resistance camps on one of the metal platforms left behind. Rey volunteered to do the meditating. Kylo didn't argue, he wasn't of clear enough mind to try something so tasking. 

  She sat in the middle of the platform and the crowd fell silent. Kylo was able to feel the peace she emanated as she searched for the Force signatures of old. 

  She was looking for a ghost, though not quite a ghost. The Force users who once inhabited this planet could have left vestiges of themselves behind, like footprints on the aura of the planet. It was extremely difficult to find these footprints, even for the most skilled Force user. 

  She needed perfect focus, so Kylo did what he could by trying to relax the minds around him. Most of the crew stayed in the ship, while Kylo sat on the lowered ramp and watched. He kept an eye on her mental state in case she over exerted herself. Hux was behind him in ship using his datapad. He’d ordered complete silence on the ship as well.

  They were there for hours before she suddenly reeled back and gasped. Kylo was on his feet and at her side in seconds.

  “Did you see anything?” he asked, kneeling in front of her. Her eyes were bright and happy, childlike in their pride.

  “I did!” she said. “They went back to D’Qar and set up a main base. We must depart immediately.”

  Kylo couldn't help but grin at her. She was beaming with joy, it spiller off of her like rays from a star. “Well done,” he said, grasping her shoulder.

  She smiled wider. “Thank you.”

~

  D’Qar was a half-week’s trip from Jhas Krill. They spent a cycle in the moon’s orbit before changing course. Rey was in high spirits, but she was drained from the effort. After accepting praise from the crew of the  _ Knight _ she fell asleep for nearly a full cycle.

  Kylo knew Rey was more powerful than him on the basis that she didn't linger between light and dark. She was pure light, and had she completed her training she could have been a Jedi Master. He'd felt bad taking her from her training but she insisted on joining him. She told him she would learn better travelling around than sitting in a dark temple on a sandy planet. He supposed she was correct, she had grown considerably more powerful in the many years they'd been away, but she needed guidance. Kylo offered it where he could but he wasn't a teacher.

  She joined the crew for dinner in the commons room of the  _ Knight _ the evening after. Rey’s sunny disposition was still going strong despite the fact that she was still hadn't fully recovered. This was meant to be a celebration of sorts, but they still only had the standard rations and water. Again, Kylo regretted smashing the alcohol against the wall. Whiskey wasn't a party beverage but it would have been a nice addition.

  They talked while they ate. Kylo was never a conversationalist but he tried to join in where he could. Dinner went by fast. Rey made a beeline for her room as soon as they finished to rest more, and Kylo moved to the bridge. 

  Hux was standing at the console talking to another. Kylo watched him for a moment before approaching.

  “Ren. How is your cousin?” he asked.

  “Fine. Tired, but fine.”

  “That's good. It concerned me when she refused medbay. Her little… magic trick seemed to take a lot from her.”

  “She’s nothing if not resilient.”

  After a pause Hux said, “Tell me about D’Qar.”

  “I was only there a short time as a child, I'm afraid I can't tell you much beyond its arboreal and large.”

  Hux considered this. “If you're free in ten minutes my shift ends. I'd like to speak to you in my quarters,” he said lowly.

  “I shall be there.”

~

  He didn't think about the Force bond until he was standing in front of Hux’s private quarters. Hux gave him access, and Kylo walked in. He was sat at his desk, as always, but two empty glasses and a fresh bottle of brandy sat on the table.

  “Ren,” he greeted. “Would you like a glass?” Hux asked, gesturing to the items on the table.

  Kylo accepted, and Hux poured two glasses before taking a seat.

  “So, tell me about the Resistance.”

  Kylo frowned. “I must admit, when I agreed to come here tonight I was under the impression we would be having sex.”

  Hux gave an amused chuckle. “That will certainly happen. Business first, however. You don't need to share all the Resistance’s secrets but anything you think will be of import once we arrive will be appreciated. You said I wouldn't exactly be welcome, so what should I say to not piss them all off?”

  Kylo thought for a moment. “Well, don't speak of the First Order when possible. My mother- General Organa is a Force user so keep your blockades up. Don't be snarky or cruel. Be polite.”

  “That all seemed given,” Hux said with a scoff.

  “Not making people mad isn't exactly a challenge, Hux,” Kylo said, giving Hux an amused look.

  “Ah, yes, you would know very well about not pissing people off. Even when you hardly knew me you were being a snarky little shit.”

  Kylo smiled. “Is this what drew you to me?”

  “I suppose I can't deny it.”

~

 Kylo felt the Force bond that time. He was lying in bed with Hux, talking lazily about whatever while absently touching each other. Kylo raised a hand to trace over Hux’s bottom lip when he felt a warm feeling in his brain. It was pleasant, like sunshine over his skin or a warm bath. For a moment he closed his eyes and relished in the pleasant feeling, but he suddenly realized what it was and sat up.

  Hux, too, was startled from his bliss. “Ren, what's gotten into you?”

  “I-”

  Hux watched him expectantly.

  “We were…” He stopped himself. “Do you… care for me?”

  Hux frowned at him. “What is this about?”

  “Hux, what are we?”

  Hux’s eyes widened. “I'm not sure, what do you want to be?”

  Kylo stared at him. “You're avoiding the question.”

  “Fine, yes I care about you, Ren, and I haven't  clue what we are. I've never thought to put a word to our relationship,” he said, frowning at Kylo. He sat up to reach his eye level. “What is this about.”

  “The Force-”

  “Always the bloody Force, isn't it?”

  Kylo scowled, but continued. He knew that if he didn't get the words out fast enough he wouldn't be able to at all. “The Force is creating a bond between our minds because I'm growing attached to you.”

  Hux gave him a confused look. “Creating a bond between our minds? What the hells does that mean?”

  “It means that we’ll be able to read each other easily. I can speak to you through the Force even when you have your barriers up, and I can read your mind when no one else can. You'll be able to feel my emotions, and I'll be able to feel yours more strongly.”

  Hux thought this over. “Can you stop it?”

  Kylo felt a little hurt at that, though it was what he'd been expecting. “Only if we stop this. I can break it after it's been created as well, but it's tasking and sometimes painful.”

  Again, Hux thought. “And it's happening because you care about me?”

  Kylo felt a little embarrassed, but he nodded. 

  “And once it's been created, can I block you from my thoughts?”

  “Yes, but with a little more effort than normal.”

  “Then let it happen.”

  It was Kylo’s turn to be surprised. He looked up at Hux and stared at him for a moment. “Really?”

  “Yes, really. It doesn't sound terrible, and I do care about you, for whatever reason.”

  Kylo smiled, then leaned over and kissed him. He felt it again, the gentle warmth. It felt light, more light than anything he'd felt before. 

~

  He ran into Rey in the hall outside their room. She looked surprised for a moment, smirked, then moved past him. Kylo sighed before moving into his room and climbing into the shower. 

  He could feel Hux across the ship. His awareness wasn't dissimilar to his awareness of the other several thousand minds on the ship, but it was slightly stronger now. When he was closer to Hux it he could feel his emotion, hear a whisper of his thoughts. That would take more getting used to, but he would cope.

  Hux found it startling as well. Feeling Kylo’s emotions was a brand new sensation, as he had no experience with the Force. Kylo was able to take off the edge but Hux assured him he'd get used to it. 

  Kylo finished his shower then climbed out. After dressing he sat at the seat and read the reports. They we're slightly behind schedule because of an engine issue on the third engine, minor, but it was too risky to use hyperdrive until it was repaired. It was an estimated two day repair with their top level engineers allocated there. 

  Kylo was getting antsy waiting. They were three days to D’Qar. It wasn't guaranteed she'd be there but it was more than likely, as D’Qar was apparently assigned as their main base. He wondered if Han would be there as well. That would be unbearable, but, with his past as a testament to such, Han Solo was probably off in some Outer Rim territory avoiding his familial responsibilities. Of course, since he didn't have a son to care for anymore he might not be doing that.

  Kylo scrubbed his face. He couldn't wait until all of this was done for.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for hints of/implied domestic violence. It's goes by fast, only a few sentences.

  As they neared D’Qar the ship grew more busy. It was one day to landing, and Kylo intended to spend it distracted. Finn had a holopad with terabytes of holofilms. With permission he borrowed it and situated himself in the commons room of the _Knight_.

  Naboo and Corellia made up most of the Galaxy’s cinema. Much of the films were romance and adventure films. His grandparents inspired a few. They weren't named directly and anyone not intimately familiar might think it inspired purely by imagination, but Kylo recognized the common themes. Star crossed lovers, one is royalty and the other has some form of belief that prevents them from having a relationship. The Royal one dies and the other goes dark in order to avenge his befallen lover.

  Kylo was always fascinated by his grandfather. He heard Han Solo tell his mother once, when they thought he was asleep and they were arguing, that Kylo had too much of his grandfather in him. His name was a sort of taboo in their household. All his mother would tell him was that he fell to the dark after his grandmother died, but he redeemed himself before death. Once Kylo was of age he did his own research. He learned of the Death Star, of the Empire and their killings. He was morbidly fascinated for a while, but abandoned his interest once the pull to the dark side became too strong.

  The credits rolled on Kylo’s fifth movie in a row. He swiped through the hologram and changed movies. He was halfway through the title credits when his communicator chimed.

  It had been discarded under his coat on the raggedy sofa against the far wall. Kylo climbed up and retrieved it. The message was from Hux.

  ‘ _Care for dinner? My quarters 1800- G. E.HUX_.’

  Kylo sent an affirmative, then tossed the pad back on the couch. He had an hour before 1800, so he turned off the tablet in lieu of shower. The _Knight_ had no hot water but he didn't feel like walking all the way to his quarters for a shower. He was growing tired of the plain grey clothes of the _Finalizer_ as well. Everything was too plain, too similar.

  He didn't have any formal wear, though he doubted Hux was staging a formal dinner. Still, he tugged on his nicest black shirt and slacks, wrinkled from being shoved into the lockbox under his bed. He smoothed it out as best he could but it didn't help much.

  He locked eyes with himself in the mirror. His hair was longer than he preferred, and he’d been meaning to cut it. Hux liked it, though. He never said he did, but Hux always touched, grabbed, pulled on it. When they were together Hux could rarely go more than ten minutes without touching his hair. He wouldn't cut it, for Hux, but he tied it up to keep it off his neck.

  “You look nice.”

  Rey’s voice startled him. He looked at her through the mirror and scowled at the knowing look in her eyes.

  “What?”

  “Hey, I live on this ship too,” she said. She walked to her bunk and pulled out her own box. Her own holopad sat on the top of her clothes.

  “I never figured you the dating type. Nor Hux.”

  Kylo smoothed down the front of his shirt. “It's not a date. It's just dinner.”

  She stared at him for a second, then scoffed.

  “It’s not a date,” he reiterated with more annoyance in his tone. “We’ll likely be discussing strategies and such for when we land.”

  “I know you're lying, and so do you. You don't have to be ashamed.”

  Kylo rolled his eyes, then moved to his bunk to pull on his boots. “I'm afraid I can't stay and talk, cousin,” he said.

  “I'll tell Poe you won't be using the bed tonight,” she said. “Though I think he'll assume you won't, as you haven't been back since you and Hux-”

  “Goodbye, Rey.”

 Rey smiled as he passed, and once he was out of the ship he smiled too. She was stressed, sure, but she was in a better mood than he'd seen her in awhile. They hadn't had a normal conversation, one-on-one, that wasn't a fight in too long.

  The palm scanner let him in. Hux was, to Kylo’s surprise, not at his desk but rather setting the table. He was dressed in more casual clothes, though not much of a step down from his normal uniform. He had a blazer, greatcoat, and slacks on. His belt was discarded in his wardrobe so his waist was less pronounced.

  When Kylo walked in he stood straight and looked at him. “You're early.”

  He looked at the timekeeper on the wall. So he was. “So I am.”

  Hux gave an amused look, then turned back to the table. Two plates were set and he was distributing silverware. It wasn't exactly a romantic scene, no tablecloth or candlelight. The plates were plastic and the silverware was metal. Standard dinnerware from the cafeteria.

  “Very well. I'm afraid there's nothing exactly gourmet on this ship, we’re only having rations. But I did find a glass of wine in the contraband room.” He showed Kylo the bottle. It was from some smaller outer rim planet, by the looks of it. Kylo didn't recognize the letters written on it, but it smelled pleasant.

  Hux finished setting the table, then gestured for Kylo to sit. He obeyed, and Hux sat across from from. The wine he poured was a deep red, like blood in a glass. He was never one for wine. It reminded him too much of back then, when his mother would drag him to fancy meetings on Coruscant and other inner planets. They would all drink needlessly expensive wines in their fur clothes, laughing without actually laughing, pretending to be who they weren't. They were all so stuffy, snobby.

  “I can feel your anxiety now,” Hux said, snapping Kylo back to reality. He had been staring into his glass, raised halfway to his face. He brought it up and sipped. It wasn't as rich as he remembered the wine on Coruscant being. He used to steal sips from his mother's glass when she wasn't looking. He thought it was gross, be he grew to like the taste of alcohol.

  “I'm sorry.”

  “Tell me what's bothering you.”

  Kylo set his glass down and looked across the table at Hux.

  “What do you think is bothering me? I'm hours away from seeing the people I purposefully left behind years ago,” Kylo said, more bitter than he intended.

  “Excuse me, but you've never disclosed me the tales of your childhood,” Hux said, matching his tone.

  Kylo’s face softened. “Sorry. Maybe after a few glasses I'll be able to stomach the memories.”

  “We could share. My childhood may not have been as tragic as yours but it wasn't exactly a nuclear family either.”

  Kylo met his eyes. “Let me in your mind,” he said.

  He felt the bond between them open up with a little hesitation. With ease, he slipped in.

  Hux’s mind was orderly and easy to navigate. His thoughts, his memories, weren't chaotic and clipped as Kylo’s were. Maybe it was this, or maybe it was because of the bond they shared, but Kylo felt better in Hux’s mind.

  “I can feel you in my brain,” Hux said.

  “What's it like? Does it hurt?”

  “It's very… pleasant.”

  Kylo felt the bond warm. Happiness, fondness, something neither wanted to realize yet.

  “Push forward the memory of your past,” Kylo said. Several years of memories were thrust before him. Kylo selected the most emotionally charged memories out of the lot and delved into them.

  Suddenly the image of Hux at the table before him, watching him with trusting but hesitant eyes, was replaced with the image of a man with a stern face and cold blue eyes. He was tall, or Kylo was seeing from a child's perspective. The man was scolding him. His words were muffled by years of misremembering or not wanting to remember, but the image of the man standing imposingly over him was clear as day. The image of his impersonal, uncaring eyes was clear as day.

  The scene suddenly shifted several years ahead, to the image of his father and mother yelling. Suddenly he reeled back and slammed his fist into the wall to his left. His mother flinched, as though she had been hit, but his fist was clearly visible against the wood.

  Soon after, a quick image of his mother looking tired, pale, pouring his cereal for breakfast. The scene was still, light beaming through the half-open window behind her, lace curtains fluttering in the breeze. Her green eyes were distant, like she hadn't slept in weeks. She wore the uniform of a servant. It was green outside, with a steep drop off plummeting into the ocean. He heard an ocean in the distance, a constant roar.

  Many, many years later he saw a dark room, a bed with two people sleeping in it. He saw blaster, raised by a confident hand, but the vision came with an overbearing sadness, anxiety, a mix of more emotions than Kylo could name. He heard the sound of the blaster being fired, a sharp sound as it was silenced with a device screwed into the muzzle.

  The Hux across from him at the table flinched, but Kylo couldn't pull away. Thus memory was crisp and clear, as though it happened recently. As though it had been remembered every day of his life, impossible to forget or ignore.

  Hux in the memory grabbed the body and picked it up. The man in his arms was the same man from the first memory. He was weakened with age, wrinkled but still imposing, even in death. A stream of blood dropped from a cauterized wound in his head.

  Hux walked through the house, carrying the corpse of his father. He set him down against the kitchen cabinet to open the back door. It was dark and raining outside. Behind the house all the way to the cliffside was mud. Hux was strong, but it was too risky to carry his father. So he dragged him through the mud by his ankles. The vision was blurred with tears. The hands wrapped around the ankles were shaking with a combination of fear, sadness, regret.

  After he dumped his father over the edge he sat in the mud, numb. The rain soaked through his skin into his bones. The ocean sounded like a roar in his ears.

  When he finally made it back in the house he spent the remainder of the night cleaning blood stains off the tile. He erased every trace that his father had died. The pillowcase was replaced, the tracks in the mud were stomped over. By the time the sun had risen Hux had gotten no sleep, not that he could have. He sat in his room, dirty and shaking, until he heard his mother call out “Brendol?” in the hall.

  Hux reeled back and Kylo was suddenly pulled from the memory. He looked distant, his eyes were glazed over as he recalled the memory. The bond between them was pure anxiety. Kylo stood quickly, fast enough to knock the table and tip over his empty wine glass. He soothed Hux through the Force, sending a calming aura to his brain and placing a hand on Hux’s cheek. Hux’s eyes fluttered shut. They were green, like his mother's, Kylo thought. Turquoise, burgeoning on blue but definitely green.

  When he opened his eyes again he was back to normal. They were the same steady gaze Kylo was used to.

  “That wasn't supposed to…”

  “It's fine,” Kylo said quickly.

  Hux looked up at him. Kylo was leaning over the table to be able to cup his cheek. Hux sat up and closed the distance between them. Kylo closed his eyes but Hux pulled back before they could deepen it.

  “You can stop your Force magic, now. This is… nothing I haven't dealt with before.”

  Kylo stopped projecting the calm to him. Hux watched him with those same trusting green eyes. Kylo traced over his cheek with his thumb before pulling away.

  “You don't have to now. I can help you.”

   “I don't want you to use the Force to… make me calm. That can't be healthy.”

  “Then I'll do it without.”

  Hux looked up at him and held his gaze for a pregnant moment.

  “I guess it's your turn now. Quid pro quo,” he said. He stood to pour himself another glass of wine, then corrected Kylo’s and refilled his.

  “It can wait.”

  Hux shook his head. “You can't go back on our agreement, Ren.”

  Kylo’s studied his face. His jaw was set and his eyes were hardened. He looked like his father, like a man faking composure. The only difference was that he was hiding sadness rather than anger under those eyes. His mother's eyes.

  Kylo spoke. He told Hux the basics. His mother was a busy woman, his father ran from responsibility. He was dragged around to soirees or left alone with his nannybot. He told Hux about the rumors that he was going to the dark side, about the suspicion and doubt and fear he felt from everyone around him.

  “When I left,” he said, “I felt people I once thought of as my friend feel thankful. They viewed me as a ticking time bomb. They lived in fear of the day I would snap and kill everyone.”

  “What about you?”

  “I'm sorry?”

  “It sounds like you're afraid of yourself. Or you were,” he said. He sipped at his glass but maintained eye contact over the rim.

  “You might have been a psychiatrist in another life, Hux. I was when I was there, and I still sometimes am. I maintain balance between light and dark for the most part, but it takes only the tiniest breath to push me to either side. I'm afraid, sometimes, of what I might do when I fall to the dark.” He brought his own glass to his lips, then took a deep breath. “I've killed before, and I enjoyed it. The man was a mugger. He held a blaster to my head and demanded my credits. I used the Force to strangle him until he was no more, then I ran my lightsaber through his skull in case. Or because I'm a glutton.”

  Hux was watching him with an amused look. “I feel like I'm in no place to comment. I am General Starkiller.”

  Kylo chuckled, then took another sip. “Yes, you are. It's odd. You're darkness, evil, but when I'm with you I feel more light.”

  “Maybe I'm redeemed,” he said with an ironic grin.

  Kylo chuckled again. “The Hosnian system had billions of people. I don't think there's an action in the world that can redeem you.”

  Hux smiled. “Perhaps not. How much do you think killing Snoke will redeem me?”

  Kylo considered this. “Quite a bit, I'm sure, but retaking the helm of the First Order will null much of it.”

  Hux was quiet for a moment. “When this is over, will you stay with me?”

  Kylo looked down at his food. “I haven't thought that far ahead. My crew would… certainly object. Finn was a First Order defector.”

  “As was I.”

  Kylo hadn't touched his food. Neither had Hux. The wine was half gone though, and they were both fuzzy.

  “Poe and Rey are on the side of the Resistance. They left on good terms. I suppose I did as well, though I never cared for either side.”

  Hux stared at him. “I suppose there's time to think about it. I would… very much like for you to stay with me, though.”

  Kylo tipped back his wine. “Let's go to bed,” he said. He stood from the table and held out his hand. Hux looked down at his rations, then stood and took Kylo’s hand.

  Most of their night was spent kissing, touching. It was different, perhaps because of the bond or perhaps because of the things they grew to know about each other. Everything felt magnified, every kiss, every touch, every noise they made. Kylo found himself wanting to keep this going forever. He wanted to die in Hux’s arms so that the last thing he felt would be the feel of his lover’s skin over his.

  When they fell beside each other on the bed Kylo moved close to Hux, and Hux moved to wrap his arms around Kylo. The galaxy felt small, like the only thing in existence was them in that room, curled around each other.

  “I love you,” he whispered against Hux’s chest. The hand in his hair tightened.

  “Gods, Ren, I love you too.”


	10. Chapter 10

  When they entered D’Qar’s orbit they were sent a warning signal from a base on the planet. The  _ Finalizer _ sent back a message of peace and asked for permission to land. 

  It was ten minutes before they received a hologram on their communications console. General Organa asked to speak to the captain of the ship, so they contacted Hux. 

  Hux was speaking to a technician about the engine repairs cost in the belly of the Finalizer. His comm chimed and he excused himself before reading the urgent message. He took an express elevator to the bridge, and within five minutes of General Organa sending the holo conference request, he was talking to her.

  He wondered if it was lingering attachments to the First Order or what Kylo had told him that made him somewhat despise the woman. As a person she seemed kind. There was a fierce determination and dedication to her work in her, and she held herself with all the confidence and power she had. She was regal in look, professional by design, and all around the picture of what a General should be. Hux almost envied her. Had they been on the same side they might have gotten along. 

  “Ah, Armitage Hux. What could the disgraced General of the First Order want on a rebel base. Nothing good, I presume?”

  “Hello, General Organa. On the contrary. I believe we may have finally found a cause we can both agree on.”

  She raised her chin in interest. “I'm listening.”

  “Grant me permission to land. This must be discussed in complete privacy.”

  Hesitantly, she gave him permission to dock.

~

  Kylo avoided the beginning fanfare. The rest of his crew was out there, likely catching up with old friends, talking to family. Kylo was putting it off as long as he could, remaining on the shuttle. He closed his eyes and moved to Hux’s mind. He was talking to someone he didn't recognize. He had a Resistance patch on and they were talking business. Kylo lingered, then expanded the Force until he found Rey. She was with Leia. The mere feeling of her presence made Kylo recoil. He felt sick with anxiety.

_   ‘Calm yourself,’ _ Hux thought. 

_   ‘I'm sorry.’ _

_   ‘If it would make you feel better, I'm to visit with her in moments. Come find me.’ _

  He wondered if being near Hux would calm his anxieties. Being near Hux always soothed him, but his mother would surely sense the connection they shared. Her Force skills were rudimentary at best, but Rey could sense it with little effort. 

  He climbed out of the bed and exited the ship. Hux was easily found, still speaking to the man. Kylo lingered some feet away, swathed in the shadows of a tall tree.

  “Ren,” Hux greeted. He was very formal, the picture of military.

  “Hux. Are you ready?’

  “I should ask the same of you.”

  Kylo took a deep breath. “I'm fine.”

  Hux raised his eyebrow, but didn't say anything. Together they walked to the General’s quarters, a quickly set up beige tent. Her presence was overwhelming. He could hear her voice as she talked to Rey, though faint. The man went ahead and announced their presence.

  “Hux is here. And… his friend.”

  “Let them in.”

  Hux reached over and squeezed Kylo’s hand for a split second before they walked in.

  The room was silent when Hux walked in with Kylo at his side. Her eyes widened marginally. Kylo wanted nothing more than to turn around and leave, but he knew she wouldn't say anything with Hux around. So he would stay with Hux. There was worse fates. 

  “Hux. Kylo,” Rey said.

  “Rey, apologies. We’ll speak later, I promise,” Leia said.

  “No rush. I've got a lot of catching up to do,” Rey said, then smiled.

  She left quickly, patting Kylo’s shoulder as she passed him.

  Leia eyed both of them for a moment. She took a deep breath, then gestured to the seats across from her at the desk.

  Once they were all seated she looked at them again. 

  “Armitage Hux. I haven't heard from you since you left the First Order. You're very good at keeping under the radar when you want to.”

  Hux sat back in his chair. “Yes, I am.”

  “What made you leave? Did you realize the error of your ways?”

  Hux smirked. “You would like that, wouldn't you? General Starkiller regrets killing billions, comes crawling on hands and knees to the Resistance for help. Trust me, General, that's not the reason I've come to you. If I wasn't 100 percent sure I couldn't do this on my own I wouldn't have come.”

  Leia’s face remained carefully still. “So tell me then, Armitage, what brings you?”

  Hux reached into his jacket. At the door, a guard's finger twitched to the blaster at his hip, and Kylo realized how hyperaware of every weapon in the room he was. 

  Hux sat a datapad on the desk. It was an older model, not the one Hux usually kept on him. He turned it on and a blue hologram jumped into the air. It projected a star system, on the edge of the galaxy. Kylo didn't recognize the place. 

  “This is a system in the unknown regions. This planet here,” Hux touched one of them, and an information sheet popped up, “is where a creature trying to kill your brother dwells.” Leia leaned forward, interested. “It's small, barely qualifying as a planet, and the atmosphere is toxic to every living thing. Very dramatic for the subhuman thing that lives there, though he has an undeniable flair for theatrics. When I was commissioned with the First Order we visited the planet twice. Both times we were not permitted to leave the ship, and his crew were dressed in such a way that we couldn't see a centimeter of skin. They didn't speak, only took what we were delivering and left us to our own.”

  Leia examined the projection. “Tell me about the creature.”

  “It's name is Snoke. He wields the Force effectively, he could read my mind through a projected hologram thousands of light-years away. I've never seen him in person, though he was using the First Order to pick up some Jedi paraphernalia nonsense.”

  Leia perked up at the last part. “Jedi paraphernalia?”

  “Well, Jedi and Sith. Old artifacts from temples. Jewelry, clothing, things of that nature.”

  “He's enhancing his power,” Leia said, thinking out loud. “He’s either weak or greedy, or both.”

  “So you'll assist? As effectively as he wields the Force, we'll need as many users as we can if we want to stand a chance against him.”

  Leia considered this. “We will ally with you to kill Snoke. This does not make us friends, General Starkiller.”

  “Of course not,” Hux said, smiling. He turned off the projection and tucked it into his greatcoat. “My co-captain, Phasma, will provide you will all the files we have on Snoke.”

  “I will contact you with more information. Now, I'd like to talk to Kylo.”

  Hux looked over at Kylo. ‘ _ Will you be okay? _ ’ he projected.

  ‘ _ I'll be fine. Thank you. _ ’

  Hux stood. “Good day, General. I'll send Phasma to your control room.”

  “I'll tell my people to keep an eye out for her.”

  Hux left the tent, leaving Kylo and his mother alone.

  Leia watched him for a moment, then spoke. “You've grown,” she said. “Many years have passed since I last saw you. A lot has changed... About you…”

  “I'm… older. Mature.”

  She swallowed. “How have you been?”

  Kylo’s eyes darted from her face to his hands. “Well.”

  “Good.”

  Kylo groaned, overcome with frustration. He stood up and slammed his palms on the table. “Can you stop? Ask what you want to ask and stop dancing around it, please,” he said. 

  The guard at the door had his hand around the grip of the blaster. 

  Leia sighed. Her hand twitched and Kylo remembered, quite irrelevantly, that she used to have a habit of running her hand through her hair when she was stressed. Her hair was pulled up now, into a tight bun.

  She used her other hand to wave the guard off  and he stepped outside of the tent and left.

  “Fine. You promised you'd stay in contact but I haven't heard a word from you since you left. Why?”

  “Why do you think? I left to get away from all of this, I cut all of my ties and stayed gone.”

  Leia didn't react, to her credit, but he could feel the hurt through the Force. She practiced so much keeping emotion off her face, but not so much through the Force.

  “What did we do?”

  Kylo shook his head. “I could feel everything, hear everything. Every time you said my fall to the dark side was inevitable, every time Han said I was too much like my grandfather. I couldn't stand it anymore. People talked, people thought I was going to snap and kill everyone some day, I couldn't bear to listen to everyone's suspicions and doubt,” he said slowly, quietly.

  Leia did recoil this time. The mixture of regret and pity she felt, he wanted to break something. 

  “Oh, Ben,” she said.

  He gripped the desk to keep from flinching at his name. 

  “I don't need your pity.” He gritted his teeth.

  “Fine,” she said with a huff. 

  After a moment Kylo said, “Is there anything else you want?”

  Leia steepled her hands on the desk. “Yes. You and Hux seem friendly. Tell me, is he trustworthy?”

  “What makes you think I would tell you if he wasn't?” Kylo asked, crossing his arms. He remembered she hated it when he crossed his arms as a child.

  “He is a war criminal who killed billions of people because they aligned with my outfit,” she said, annoyance in her voice.

  “He is here to kill Snoke, and only to kill Snoke. He has agreed to put aside his differences to achieve this mission, and he expects you and all of the Resistance to do so as well. And make sure everyone knows that if anyone hurts Hux I will raze this entire camp to the ground.”

  Leia’s jaw tightened. “I will make sure no harm comes to him. I ask that you return the favor by making sure none of his men get aggressive to mine.”

  Already done, Kylo thought. “Are we finished?”

  “Yes. Despite everything, I'm happy to see you again, and I hope you'll visit me again, for a more pleasant conversation.”

   Kylo turned and left the tent without another word.


	11. Chapter 11

  The  _ Finalizer _ had to be landed some ways from the base so the crew that had come to their base were housed in the Resistances barracks.

  Kylo didn't see Hux again that day until dinner. He found him sitting with Phasma at a far table in the mess hall. The Resistance fighters seemed to be avoiding Hux’s men. He scanned through one of their minds and found them gossiping about Hux and the Order.

  “They're talking about you,” he said when he settled beside Hux.

  “Let them. I'm used to being gossiped about,” he said. 

  “It would make for some entertainment if you started a fight,” Phasma said. 

  Hux rolled his eyes. “We need the Resistance to trust us. The way to do that is not through starting petty fights in the cafeteria because Ren was reading their minds.”

  Phasma grinned.

  “What are they saying about me?” Hux asked, turning to Ren, away from Phasma. 

  “They think you're too weak to kill Snoke, that's why you came to the Resistance.”

  “Amusing. Everyone here holds grudges for far too long,” Hux said.

  “Starkiller was only a year ago,” Phasma said.

  Hux gave an amused look. A nearby eavesdropper looked wholly unamused.

~

  The housing barracks were essentially a giant tarp with makeshift walls and sectional dividers with three hard cots placed into every “room.” Kylo would have much rather trekked the couple miles or so back to the  _ Finalizer _ , darkness be damned, than sleep on another cot. However, that wasn't an option.

  It was still early in the evening. The sun was just beginning to set on D’Qar, and the sky was a brilliant gradient of pastel blues, pinks, and reds. Ren's bunk mates, Rey and Finn, were still elsewhere, as was Hux's. Ren joined Hux on his cot.

  “Ren,” he said, looking over his datapad to lock eyes with Kylo.

  “Hux,” he said. He moved to straddle Hux’s thighs, not an easy task on the narrow cot. Hux set the datapad on the floor beside the bed and pulled Kylo down for a kiss.

  “How are you?” he asked.

  “Fine. Better, now,” Kylo said, and Hux grinned and pulled him back down. Kylo’s hands moved down to Hux’s belt and he pulled away.

  “No, we are not fucking on this cot. And Phasma and Jadon will be back any minute.”

  “I'll be able to sense when they're coming,” he said pleasingly, tugging at Hux’s belt.

  Hux gave him a doubtful look. “You're 30 years old, not 13. It's not going to kill you to go a few days without a screw.”

  “It might,” he huffed in disappointment. “There's not much else to do on this damnable planet,” Kylo said. He leaned back to sit down, defeated. 

  “I have ideas but you wouldn't like any of them,” Hux said.

  Kylo huffed again. “Of course not.”

  “You realize they're only partnering with us because of you. They believe they can kill Snoke by themselves. If you and your crew weren't here they would have thanked us for telling them and shooed us away.”

  “I'm aware. My mother thinks there's a chance I my return to her.”

  “Is there?”

  “Gods no,” Kylo scoffed. 

  Hux’s lips quirked in amusement. “It wouldn't kill you to pretend there was. It might make her more agreeable to us.”

  Ren thought about it. He could pretend, he had for years and this was only a week or so.

  After a pause Hux asked, “Is there a shower on the base?”

  “There is,” Kylo answered. The base was set up more or less the same way they always were. It made it easy to navigate the place, even after being gone for so long. 

  “Would you mind showing me where they are?”

~

  The showers were near the housing barracks. It was fairly late at night so no one was using the showers, which obviously relieved Hux.

  The showers were white stalls with a clouded glass door. The pressure was awful and the water temperature depended on the planet’s temperature. They might have changed since he left, but they looked exactly the same as he remembered.

  “I'll hold your clothes,” Kylo said. 

  Hux handed his pile to him, then began undoing the long lines of buttons. Kylo averted his eyes politely, and Hux chuckled.

  “It's nothing you haven't seen,” he remarked.

  Kylo gestured to the security cameras across the dirt path. “It might do us well to pretend it isn't.”

  “Your mother is aware of our relationship, isn't she?” 

  “Yes, but she doesn't agree with it.”

  “Ah,” Hux said. He stepped inside the stall and passed the rest of his clothes through to Kylo. The water turned on and Kylo sat in the grass. Hux never showered long, so Kylo didn't mind waiting. It was only a couple minutes before the shower shut off and the towel hung over the top of the stall was pulled in. The door opened a crack moments later and his arm came out. 

  “Hand me my clothes, please?”

  Kylo placed the pile in his palm and Hux muttered a quick “Thank you,” before dressing.

  He came out and stepped into his boots. 

  “Are you going to get a shower?” Hux asked. He took his dirty clothes from Kylo’s arms with another “Thank you.”

  “In the morning.”

  Hux looked down at him, sitting in the grass with his legs crossed like a child. He’d been idly plucking grass out while waiting. Kylo’s raised his head to meet Hux’s eyes.

  “It's a very nice night. Is D’Qar usually this mild?” Hux asked. His hair was tousled from the towel drying, then pushed back with his hand. It was surprisingly long when it wasn't gelled back. Kylo liked that.

  “I believe so,” he said. “There are seasons but they don't get extremely cold. It snows sometimes but rarely.”

  “I can see why they chose this planet. It's lovely tonight.”

  Hux’s eyes lingered on Kylo’s. He shifted his clothes to one arm and offered his hand to help Kylo up. Kylo took it and stood. Hux didn't release his hand. He leaned forward and kissed him, slowly, until Kylo’s own hand came up to his cheek.

~

  “General, Hux has left his quarters.”

  General Organa looked up from her work to the guard. She’d ordered a watch on Hux and his crew, even her son. It was precautionary, she’d be an idiot to not keep watch on the First Order defectors.

  “What's he doing?”

  “Showering.”

  She turned to look at the guard. “Why would this concern me?”

  “He’s with your son.”

  She paused. “They're showing together?”

  The guard's eyes widened. “No! They're just… with each other,” he scratched his neck awkwardly. “General, you told us to report any of Hux’s activity…”

  “Okay, thank you,” she said, sighing and waving the guard off. He left and she stared down at her tablet for a moment before turning to the security monitor. She turned on the one pointing at the west wing housing barracks, where the showers were. Ben, or Kylo, was sat in front of the shower stall, holding a pile of clothes on his lap. He was plucking at the grass idly, like he did when he was younger. The small, insignificant detail made nostalgia bloom in her breast. 

  She stared for a moment, watching her son lost in thought, destroying the grass. Suddenly the towel disappeared from over the shower and moments later a slender arm jutted out from the glass. After a moment Hux came out, dressed in light bedclothes. He was very skinny when he wasn't in his uniform, she noticed. Skinny and tall. He looked younger as well.

  He and her son spoke. The camera was too far away to catch any of their quiet conversation.

  Neither spoke for a moment. They’d Force bonded, they could speak through their minds. That had been… surprising to say the least. Love was a light emotion, but there was nothing light about Hux. He was a murderer. He had no regrets for what he had done to Hosnia and she was sure he would pick up where he left off with the First Order once he didn't have Snoke to hold him down. She believed the man was manipulating her son. He was powerful, even if mostly self taught in the Force. Hux would see him as a powerful ally, perhaps a good guard dog.

  But love had to flow from both ways in order for a Force bond to grow. 

  She pushed away the thoughts and looked back on the screen. Hux had his hand stretched out to Ben, and Ben took it and stood. He was slightly taller than Hux, so when Hux leaned in to kiss him he had to lift up on his toes slightly. With practiced ease Kylo lowered slightly, meeting him in the middle.

  Leia wasn't as cold hearted as some would have her believe. When she’d first spoken to Hux his eyes were cold, like the frozen skies of Hoth. Cloudless and clear, uncaring, lifeless. 

  But this man she saw now was different. His eyes were light, full of love, infatuation. This the man Hux was behind closed doors. He craved a tender touch, and her son craved someone who didn't doubt him. They provided each other this. And together they were light, pure and blinding.

  It was naïve, but deep in her heart she felt a glimmer of hope for the pair. 


	12. Chapter 12

  “Ben, you've changed.”

  Kylo sighed. That was what everyone said to him. He found it redundant. Ten years changes a person. There was no need to bring it up constantly. Yet everyone he met with who he knew once started with this line.

  “I'm aware,” Kylo said dryly.

  His Uncle Luke was an aging old man, more wrinkle than not. Time had weakened him so, it was pathetic to the point of being sad. He cared more about the Force than he did his own body and now he was this old husk of a man. Still, he looked better than most Jedi did at his age.

  “Perhaps you've not changed as much as I thought.” He took a sip from his tea. That annoyed Kylo more than it should have. 

  “Perhaps age muddles your brain, and I've not changed at all.”

  “Perhaps.”

  Kylo set his glass down. He had hoped this would go better than his talk with his mother, but evidently not. “I'm only here as a courtesy to my mother. I shall leave if you're only going to talk down to me.”

  “Fine, what would you like to talk about?”

  Kylo sighed. He’d like to talk about nothing. He’d like to go back to the  _ Finalizer _ and sleep on a real bed. One where the floor wasn't dust, one where he had room to move around. He wanted to be off this base, above all.

  “I don't care.”

  Luke eyed him for a moment. “Impatience was always your downfall.”

  Kylo fixed him with a glare. “Intolerance for vapid pleasantries was my downfall.”

  “Fine, I'll start. What have you been doing in the ten years you've been away?”

  “I've been running cargo.”

  “Smuggling?”

  “No,” Kylo said too quickly, “there's a difference.”

  Luke raised his eyebrows but left the topic alone. “You promised your mother you'd stay in contact.”

  “I’ve already talked to her about that.”

  Luke nodded, and brought the cup to his lips once more. It was green tea, some herbal thing that spread warmth through Kylo’s body.

  “You've grown stronger with the Force. Have you been practicing?”

  “Where I can. I meditate daily exercise as often as possible,” he said. “I try to help Rey as well, but she is determined that she doesn't need guidance.”

  “Yes, I know this very well,” he said. “She’ll find her way. She’s independent to a fault but she isn't vacuous.”

  “I know,” Kylo said. He took a sip from his cup and sighed again.

  “She does too. She's beginning to understand more now the point of a teacher. She told me that she found the base using the Force, but she was bedridden for days afterwards. She seemed to want to complete her training.”

  Kylo’s eyes widened. He hadn't been aware of this. She never asked him to help her either.

  “I wouldn't stop her if she wished to leave.”

  Luke studied him. “That's very mature of you.” His face was unreadable but Kylo could see the warmth behind those aged eyes.

~

  The sun was high in the sky, but the trees that surrounded Kylo blocked the harsh rays of light. He walked down a trail, grown over and sparsely traveled. Diaspores clung to the fabric of his pants, stabbing through his pants into his skin, but he pressed on.

  Kylo walked nearly a mile until he reached the lake. It was like glass, clear and still with no movement over the surface. Kylo sat on a fallen log and pulled off his socks and boots, then rolled up his slacks and waded in. 

  The ripples extended far over the surface of the lake as Kylo disturbed the stillness. Once he reached his knees he stopped and closed his eyes.

  He could feel the entire planet beneath him, around him. Besides the base it was all quiet, still, but humming with life and nature and the Force. It was peaceful. Kylo felt his emotions quiet. He imagined the water around his legs washing away the negative emotions. He imagined the ripples pushing them away, far away from him.

  When he reopened his eyes nearly half an hour later he felt lighter. He waded out of the lake and sat on the log and stared at the water. The light now came through the trees at a slant. The days were shorter on D’Qar than the artificial cycles on the  _ Finalizer _ . Not by much, but enough that Kylo’s circadian rhythm had been thrown off.

  The sound of someone approaching his position startled him. He reached out with tendrils of the Force and found Hux’s mind near to the lake clearing. Kylo stayed still until he emerged from the trees. “Your mother is looking for you.”

  “I'm not surprised.”

  He'd felt Han land that afternoon, not soon after he left Luke's tent. His mother he could handle, but the rage he felt around his father was crushing. It was  _ his _ words that stung the most,  _ his _ that pushed him away. And he'd long promised himself he’d never see his father again.

  “What are you doing out here?” Hux asked. He sat beside him on the log, then began picking burrs off of his slacks.

  “Meditating.”

  “I felt that. It was nice,” he said. 

  Kylo looked over at him. He looked good in the light, it made him seem to glow. 

  “Will you stay with me when I talk to my father, please?”

  Hux studied him for a moment. “Fine. Let's go back to the base,” Hux said. He took Kylo’s hand between them and squeezed it reassuringly. 

  Kylo took a deep breath. He could do this. With Hux by his side, he could do it.

~

  Kylo didn't actively seek out his father, so he stayed with Hux. He had a few meetings with Resistance officials, talking strategy. He talked with Leia as well, but Kylo just sat silently beside him the whole time.

  They finally crossed Han on the way to the mess hall. Kylo felt him nearing and tried to get Hux to stop, but Hux placed a hand on his back and urged him forward.

  “Ben!”

  Kylo’s stomach sank. The sound of his father's voice alone sent anxiety coursing through him.

  “Han.”

  “How have you been?”

  “Well.”

  Han looked somewhat discouraged, but he pressed on. “That's good, really good,” he said. Kylo didn't say anything, so he continued on. “Who’s your friend?”

  Kylo looked over at Hux.

  “I'm Armitage Hux. General Organa and I are working together,” he said. He offered his hand for Han to shake. 

  Kylo felt thankful that Hux answered for him. He wasn't sure if he should tell his father that he and Hux were a thing. It didn't seem important. After this was all over he hoped to never see Han Solo again, so why tell him of such an important aspect of his life.

  “You've got a good handshake, kid.”

  Kylo felt a little prideful that Han approved of Hux. 

  “Thank you. I was military. I was General of the First Order, but I defected.”

  His father was easy to read. His mind worked quickly, too quickly to contain, so Kylo could hear his thoughts without needing to. This was terrible when he was a child. He heard every judgement, every doubt that crossed his father's mind. Now, now that he was old enough to know better than to let the thoughts get under his skin, he found it fascinating.

  Upon learning that Hux was (even ex) First Order, Han was wary of him. 

  “I've heard of you.”

  “Only good things, I hope.” His eyes narrowed slightly, and his lips quirked up into a momentary smirk.

  Chewbacca grunted behind Han, and Han grinned at whatever joke they'd shared. 

  “Hey Ben, come talk to me sometime. I'm only here for a week or so before I've got to take off again and I haven't seen you in years.”

  Kylo nodded. “Of course,” he lied.

 Han smiled at him, too genuine for Kylo’s liking, then patted his shoulder and walked past him. 

  After Han and Chewbacca were out of earshot Kylo turned to Hux.

  “Thank you,” he said.

  “Don't worry about it, Ren.”

  Kylo reached down and took Hux's hand before letting himself be led into the mess hall.


	13. Chapter 13

  Kylo spent the remainder of their week on base avoiding everybody. He spent the majority of his time wandering around the surrounding woodlands. It was ideal. He didn't see his mother, father, or Luke at all, and the picturesque nature was meditative.

  But then Rey stepped in.

  “Kylo, what the hells are you doing?”

  It was the third evening Kylo returned to his cot at midnight. Rey was sitting in her cot with her tablet on her lap.

  Kylo froze in the doorway when her stare fell on him.

  ‘I'm… going to bed,” he said, pointing at his empty cot.

  She sighed. “You're avoiding everyone and they've taken notice.”

  Kylo turned away and shrugged off his coat.

  “I don't want to talk to any of them. I did my pleasantries, that should have satisfied them.”

  “That's not very nice, Kylo.”

  Kylo sighed and closed his eyes as he undid his shirt.

  “I'm sorry.”

  “No you're not.”

  Kylo shrugged and pulled on his night clothes.

  “Please talk to them once more before we leave. For me.”

  Kylo groaned and scrubbed his face with his hands. “Fine. I'll talk to them tomorrow.”

  Rey smiled brightly. “Thank you.”

 “Mmhmm,” Kylo hummed. He collapsed into his cot and fell asleep almost instantly.

~

  He went with Rey to meet with everyone. His mother, father, and Luke were there. His entire living family.

  It was five hours to take off. Kylo was eager to get on the ship already. He’d had more than his share of the base, of his family.

  Leia’s eyes softened when she saw Kylo following Rey. Kylo met her gaze for a quick moment before deigning to stare at the ground.

  “We'll not see each other again until battle,” Rey said to Leia.

  “We won't. There's much to be done before then, as well.” Leia had a sad look in her eyes.

  There was a pause before Leia pulled Rey into a hug. Kylo watched them with something like envy in his stomach, before Leia pulled away and took Kylo into her arms. He hesitated for all of a second before hugging her back.

  “I wish we could have talked more,” Han said when he hugged Kylo.

  Kylo swallowed hard. He didn't hate Han in this moment. He hadn't hugged his father much in his life. Kylo couldn't recall a time when he’d hugged his father before. He wasn't a very affectionate man. The realization almost made him forget all the cruel words his father had said.

  “I, as well,” Kylo said.

  Han pulled back. He was taller than his father now, but not by much.

  Luke was last. He didn't say much, but he pulled Kylo down into a hug, then said, “Thank you.”

  “It was Rey’s idea to come here,” he said.

  “Than thank you for not objecting.”

  “Who says I didn't?”

  Luke smiled, that damned knowing grin on his face. “You didn't. Be safe, Ben. And may the Force be with you.”

  Kylo sighed. “And you as well.”

~

  Once the noise of taking off on the _Finalizer_ died down, Kylo escaped to his room. He took a hot shower first, then laid on the bed. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, so waking up an hour later felt somewhat jarring to him.

  The room was dark and quiet. The transparisteel window on the wall no longer showed a star system but the void of space.

  Kylo stood up and smoothed himself out. He had fallen asleep in his day clothes, leaving them irreparably wrinkled. He sighed and tugged his shirt off and tossed it into the laundry chute and pulled on another one.

  The request for entry startled him. Poe, Rey, and Finn entered without any courtesies, and he couldn't think of who else would be visiting his quarters.

  He reached out and found Hux behind the door. Hux hadn't ever visited him in his room before, which made him curious as to why he was now. He gave permission to access.

  “Hux. What brings you here?”

  “Ren. I was checking on you.”

  Kylo raised his eyebrows.

  “I thought we were beyond pretending we didn't worry about each other,” Hux said, rolling his eyes.

  “We are, I'm just not sure what you would worry about me for?” Kylo asked. He placed himself in the desk chair and watched Hux, who was stood in the middle of the room watching him.

  “I know how taxing that all was for you, so I came to see if there was anything you needed. You already seem better, from the nap.”

  Kylo smiled. “I appreciate the concern. It warms my heart,” Kylo said, pressing a hand to his breast.

  Hux rolled his eyes again. “Don't be an arse.”

  “Sorry,” he said, then reached out a hand to Hux. Hux took it and let Kylo pull him into a kiss. “And I'm fine.”

~

  Kylo wasn't tired but he slept anyways. They'd made their way to Hux’s room at some point during the night. Hux hadn't had a nap so he was tired, and Kylo didn't want to leave the bed so he went back to sleep. It was easy with Hux pressed against him.

  He woke several hours later to Hux stirring. It was Alpha cycle, according to the timekeeper on the wall. Hux had his first shift soon.

  The room was lit only by the blanket of stars outside the transparisteel. Hux kept the lights off when he climbed out.

  “Sorry to wake you,” he said.

  Kylo looked up to Hux’s face. “It's fine.”

  Kylo watched Hux’s morning routine from the warm bed. He didn't have to energy to get up just yet, though he knew he needed to. He wasn't particularly busy, but he couldn't laze about all day.

  Hux was buttoning up his uniform in the mirror when he finally spoke again. “I'm assuming you didn’t see the notice on your tablet so I'll tell you myself: meeting at 0900, your attendance is mandatory.”

  “For what?” Kylo asked.

  “Debriefing on strategy and plans. There's things you, your cousin and I must work out as well, after the initial meeting.”

  “Such as?”

  Hux was quiet for a moment. “The upcoming battle. I'll expand in the meeting. Be timely, please,” Hux said. He turned to face Kylo.

  “I'm always timely.” He reached out and Hux strode over to him for a kiss.

  “Of course. I'll see you then.”

  Hux left his quarters, leaving Kylo there alone. He laid back onto the bed and sighed. Absently, he touched his lips where Hux’s had been. A goodbye kiss was very… domestic. He felt the vague stir of anxiety in his gut at the thought of the that, though he supposed that was long overdue. They never talked about how serious they were getting. After the Force bond, exchanging I love you’s, and everything else they’d done thus far a small domestic action was pretty pointless to worry about.

  Of course, worrying about things that needn't be worried about was Kylo's specialty.

  He sighed and climbed out of bed. He had a few changes of clothes in Hux’s closet now, stuff he'd moved in from the _Knight_. They were shoved in a drawer haphazardly (much to Hux’s chagrin). Hux had offered to make room in his closet where Kylo could hang his clothes to keep them from wrinkling, but Kylo had shrugged him off and told him he didn't give a shit about his clothes wrinkling.

  Kylo stared for a moment at the clothes in the drawer before pulling some out and changing.

~

  Kylo arrived right on time for the conference. The room was already filling in with the table packed, but Rey had saved a seat for him with the crew.

  He sat down and scanned the room. Most of the attendees appeared to be higher ups in the _Finalizer’s_ ranks. Beyond Hux and Phasma Kylo hadn't socialized much on the ship so he couldn't put a face to many names. They all looked bored, tired, or anxious. A quick skim of their minds found nothing interesting. One man was pondering his breakfast, another already wanted this meeting to be over.

  Hux was at the front tapping at his datapad. He stood up a second later. The chatter of the room died down as everyone stood at attention.

  “Hello, everybody. Thank you for being here. I'm aware that many of you are busy so I'll try to keep this short. During our stay on D’Qar General Organa and I worked out what we believe would be the best action against Snoke and his residing planet. Queries and suggestions will be welcome at the end of the presentation.”

  Hux had a natural ease whilst talking to the group. His back was straight and his chest was puffed out so his voice reached every corner of the room. There were no signs of discomfort, like he was born to do this. He remembered hearing that Hux, when he was General, was known for his oration. He could woo a crowd with just the sound of his voice, so well that there were rumors once that he was a Force user.

  A projection flickered to life in the middle of the table, showing the same planet map he’d seen before. Hux zoomed in on Snoke’s planet, the little yellow one furthest from the sun. Hux leaned forward to examine it. The blue hue of the projection brought out the blue in his eyes.

  “Of Snoke's planet we don't know much. Our map is rudimentary, but as long as we're able to contain the fight at Snoke’s palace it should do.” Hux tapped the little yellow dot and a topographical map beside a geographical map appeared. They were both of the same place, a flat area interrupted suddenly by a massive building. “Our fleet will consist of the _Finalizer_ as well as two Resistance ships; one with ground troops and one aircraft carrier for backup. We’ll land here and the Resistance troops will land here, surrounding the castle. At my call we will storm in and kill anyone who fires at us.

  “Once any enemies are neutralized we’ll canvas Snoke's palace until we find him. Once he is found any Force users will advance on him and kill him.”

  There was the slightest bit of uncertainty at the last part. His eyes flickered up to Kylo's through the hologram.

  “Any questions?”

  “Yes,” an older man said. He stepped closer to the table. “You're telling me that the plan to kill Snoke is to… kill Snoke?”

  Hux’s eye twitched. “We have little information on Snoke beyond an estimation so we can't commit to a solid plan.”

  The man stood back. He was annoyed and uneasy with the plan, it was clear to see. Everyone was.

  “Any other questions?”

  No one stepped forward, so Hux flipped the projection off. “Very well. We're en route to Coruscant right now. We'll need enough oxygen masks for both us and the Resistance fighters, as well as food and water, medbay supplies, et cetera. We should be landing in three days. After that we’ll be rendezvousing with the Resistance fleet, exchanging resources, then going to Snoke's planet. We should arrive at Snoke's in 15 days.”

  A wave of anxiety washed over the room. Not one person didn't shudder at the low number. It felt more real now, with a countdown put on it.

  “Meeting adjourned. Ren, Rey, please stay behind, we have more to discuss.”

  Kylo and Rey stayed seated as the room cleared.

  Once the last person filtered out, Hux took a breath.

  “Will you be participating in the battle?”

  Kylo hadn't thought about it. He hadn't thought that he would have an option in the matter.

  “Yes,” Rey said without hesitation.

  “Yes,” Kylo agreed.

  “Because of the nature of the enemy, Force users will be placed at the front lines when we reach Snoke.”

  “I'm aware. It's fine, we can hold our own,” Rey said. Her voice was unwavering.

  Hux nodded, body tense. Kylo reached out to him and Hux glanced up from his datapad. He gave Kylo a sad look, so quick that Kylo wouldn't have noticed if not for the mournful feeling coming off him.

  “If there's no questions I'll let you go.”

  After pleasantries were exchanged, Rey stood up to leave. She hesitated, waiting for Kylo, but Kylo waved her off. After the door was shut behind her, he turned to Hux.

  “You’re worried,” he stated.

  Hux sighed. The fingers typing faltered and he looked up at Kylo. “Snoke is very dangerous. Your crew and the Resistance are severely underestimating the creature. He single-handedly took charge of the entire First Order, a powerful military operation, and turned us into his servants.”

  “You have many powerful allies on your side now.”

  Hux sighed again. “I'm aware.”

  Hux was lacking in self-confidence. He'd never seen Hux so unsure before and it was jarring.

  “What's gotten into you?”

  Hux chuckled. “This is something I've wanted to do since Snoke first hijacked First Order, but now that it's happening I can't see this ending any way but with the death of my entire crew.”

  Kylo stared at him, unsure of what to say. He muttered a generic condolence, “I'm sure it will be fine.”

  Hux laughed dryly. “Thank you, Ren.”


	14. Chapter 14

  Hux buried his face in his hands after Kylo left his office. He'd been too honest, planted the seeds of doubt in Ren. It was very unprofessional to let his façade drop like that.

  But it was no use hiding anything from him. He'd been a nervous wreck during the meeting, though he’d done very well hiding it. Even thinking about the upcoming confrontation with Snoke turned his blood cold, and surely Ren had noticed. 

  He scrubbed his face with his hands. He had vivid images of Snoke striking Ren down playing behind his eyelids. In the event that that happened, he couldn't help him. Ren was one in an army of thousands, insignificant even with his powers. Hux couldn't abandon his post and risk all those lives for one person who wasn't even technically under his control. But he wasn't sure if he could stop himself. 

  He scoffed. Years of learning self control in the Academy dashed away for one man. His father would be abhorred, were he not bones and fish shit in the oceans of Mandalore. 

  He pushed a hand through his hair and forced himself to focus on his work. Mulling over his worries would only make them worse, but even knowing that he couldn't keep his worry for Ren from the forefront of his mind.

~

  Kylo made his way to the training room. It was sparsely occupied with the ship's crew, but the space was big enough that he found an empty corner to practice in. Rey walked in several minutes later and found him immediately.

  “Can I practice with you?” she asked. Mostly as a courtesy, she knew he would say yes. He was always the one urging her to train with him more.

  “Of course,” he said. 

  “Will you be using your lightsaber in battle?” she asked.

  “I will be,” he said dryly. He knew where the conversation was going.

  “Ilum is not far out of the way to Snoke’s planet.”

  “My saber is fine.”

  She scoffed. “Perhaps when we're not in battle. But when we are it's unstable and dangerous.”

  “I'm not making a new one. It will do. I've had it for years and it's never failed.” He handed her the wooden longsword, effectively shushing her bothering. He liked his saber. He'd made it not long after he left the Resistance. His powers were still inadequate, but for someone who'd only completed half their training it was remarkably well done. It had been modified much over the years to keep it from dying: ventilators were added to the handle and stabilizing the cracked crystal within and he had to open the panel up and readjust the wires sometimes. 

  It didn't look as such but he knew that it was as good as a normal lightsaber. It looked more threatening as well. The red blade flickered and sizzled like a fire. He had a taste for the theatrical, he would admit it. Leia used to tell him he got it from Luke.

  Rey was a skilled swordsman, but her tactic was messy. She favored force over finesse, offense over defense. It left many open spots for someone quick enough to notice them, like Kylo. On top of this, she hadn't practiced with a blade in some time so she was rusty. It wasn't a long battle before Kylo had the tip of the wooden blade at her throat.

  She huffed and tossed up her hands. “I give.”

  “I've told you your weakness. I see you've ignored my advice, though.”

  “Your advice usually precedes bragging,” she said, and Kylo grinned. 

  Rey rolled her eyes and Kylo helped her up from where she had fallen on the mat.

  “Round two?” she asked. 

  Kylo stepped back and raised his sword. Just as he did so the door opened and two people walked in. Kylo knew immediately from the way the bond hummed that Hux was one of the two. The way Hux’s step faltered and he looked around told Kylo he felt it too.

  Kylo felt a sudden hard  _ thwap _ on his side and he was suddenly forced back to attention.

  “Distraction can be deadly on the battlefield.”

  He scowled at her. “I guess it's a damned good thing we're not on the battlefield, then.” He placed a hand on his side emphatically.

  She grinned again. 

  “Hello Rey, Ren. Training, I see,” Hux said. 

  Kylo looked away from Rey to Hux. Phasma was beside him with a duffel bag under her arm. She was somewhat less imposing in light workout clothes, but she still had a commanding presence.

  “Yes. We've grown somewhat out of shape lazing about for many weeks,” Kylo said. 

  “Swords? So it's true that Force users have lightsabers then?” Phasma said. 

  “Yes, typically,” Rey said. 

  “Is it a tradition thing or what? I can't imagine it being very efficient, what with blasters and all,” she said. Hux looked surprised at her brashness, but Rey only laughed.

  “Force users can stop blaster bolts,” Rey said. 

  Phasma looked pleasantly surprised. “I would quite enjoy to see that.”

  Kylo nudged Rey forward. “You could use the practice,” Kylo said.

  She gave him a smarmy, knowing look before taking Phasma to another part of the gym. 

  “Ren.”

  “Hux.”

  “You so obviously wanted to get me alone, so what did you have in mind?”

  Kylo grinned. “Well, we’re in the training room,” he said. He offered the fake sword to Hux. 

  “I haven't fought with a sword since academy,” he said. “And I don't believe I'll find the skill detrimental to my future.”

  “You might. You never know what can happen.”

  “Rest assured, blasters won't suddenly disappear from the galaxy. And I hardly imagine I'll procure a lightsaber in the near future. Can't non Force-users not operate the things anyways?” The lilt of curiosity at the end of Hux’s sentence didn't go unnoticed. 

  “No, they just can't build them,” Kylo said. He raised his hand to the bundle of his things he'd sat on the bench and the lightsaber came to him.

  Hux looked suddenly intrigued. Kylo usually kept his saber concealed under his robes, as it tended to make people uncomfortable. This would be one of the few times Hux had seen it.

  “You always speak of preparedness, so it would be smart to know how to operate a weapon I keep on me at all times, would it not?”

  “Perhaps it would be. Tell me, how does it work if not by Force magic?” he asked.

  “There's a crystal generates a plasma blade,” Kylo said. He was never keen on the mechanics of the weapon, but he remembered that much.

  “Does it have some connection to the Force?”

  “Beyond building it, you don't have to have the Force to use it.” He turned it in his hand and offered it to Hux. He gave him a questioning look before taking it cautiously.

  “It won't turn on until you turn it on, there's no need to be afraid of it,” Kylo said with a tone of amusement.

  “I'm sorry, I've never held a plasma sword before. Excuse me if I'm being a little cautious.”

  Kylo stepped beside him, out of his way.

  “How do you turn it on?” he asked.

  “The button on the side.”

  The blade flickered to life once again. Excitement thrummed through Hux, though he kept his composure outside. Kylo couldn't help but smile at the almost childlike wonder in his eyes.

  “It's lighter than a sword,” he observed. He moved it carefully, like it would jump out of his hand and kill something at any given moment. 

  “It’s more effective as well,” Kylo said.

  Hux looked even more intrigued. He swished the blade around more boldly. It hummed more demandingly in motion. Hux was a brilliant tactician, quick thinker, and strong. He would certainly do well with a sword or saber. Kylo wanted to see him in action with one as well. He was sure it would be a sight to behold.


	15. Chapter 15

 Kylo woke up slowly the next morning. He'd overslept. His mind was foggy and he felt still exhausted despite his nearly 10 hours of sleep.

  It was on odd feeling, waking up alone. It made him feel lonely. Hux would be working his Alpha shift. He could feel his mind on the Bridge.

  Kylo dressed sedately, having not woken up completely yet. There was no rush. He wasn't busy that day, which was good because his muscles were sore. He and Rey had began a strict training regiment since agreeing to be on the front lines of the battle. Several days later and he was feeling stronger, both in body and in Force, but he was feeling the repercussions. 

  They wouldn't be training together that day. The  _ Finalizer _ was set to land on a supply planet where they would supply the ship for battle. In 12 days they would be en route to Snoke's planet. 12 short days. 

  Kylo felt a looming feeling in his gut. He took a deep breath to compose himself before opening the door and stepping out.

~

  It was early morning on the moon they were resupplying on. The sky was shrouded by thick grey clouds, letting through only a hint of light from the low sun. The fog had not yet risen from the little supply warehouse, giving the concrete building an almost mysterious look.

  Hux normally liked this sort of weather, but now it only made him claustrophobic, like the low clouds were crushing him. The morning chill seemed to pierce through his clothes straight into his bones, making him shudder at the slightest breeze. He absently rubbed at his clothed arms for some heat.

  “All loaded,” the leader said. He was a Twi’lek, short but sturdy. Hux glanced up at the man before stepping into the loading bay to count the boxes. There was twenty boxes in total, half the height of Hux and thrice the width. Hux marked the transaction as complete on his datapad.

  “Very good. Does anybody else know about this supply run?” he asked. 

  “No, we kept it a secret as you asked.” He had an honest air to him. He seemed friendly, the type to value hard work and family above all. Hux didn't suspect the man to be lying, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

  Hux nodded and his crew drew their blasters at the cue. The workers had hardly enough time to process what was happening before they fell to the concrete, dead. Hux stared at the bodies for a moment before turning on his heel to face the ship.

  “Load them onto the ship and clean up all evidence,” Hux ordered with a wave of his hand.

  “Yessir,” they replied. 

  The bodies were concealed in body bags and stored on the ship. They'd used a much smaller freighter as the  _ Finalizer _ would have been too conspicuous for the operation, but between the boxes, bodies, and eight other men he'd brought along with him Hux almost regretted picking such a small ship.

  He stood atop the ramp and surveyed his men as they cleaned the evidence. It was a clean kill, so he wasn't worried about being caught. No law enforcement agencies would pursue him anyhow, much less any on this tiny moon. And if they did he'd be long gone, most likely dead at the foot of Snoke’s throne on a desert planet with no name.

~

  Kylo visited medbay for pain relievers that evening for his soreness. He couldn't slack on his training so close to the final day because of discomfort, and exercise helped him quell his nerves.

  When he arrived he found droids running about the room sorting their newly acquired supplies. They were well stocked now with things like bacta, powerful medicines, surgical supplies. Things used in wartime.

  “What do you need?” asked one of the human nurses. They were tapping on their datapads doing inventory absently.

  “Pain blockers. Low dosage.”

  “What for?” the nurse asked, mostly as a formality. He was already pulling the bottle from the cabinet as he spoke.

  “Muscle soreness.”

  He poured two in his palm and handed them to Kylo, then gestured to the sink.

  As soon as he swallowed them down he felt the ache leave his body. He thanked the nurse and left the medbay for the training center, eager to work off the anxiety.

  A few people lingered around the training center, though not many, and none spared him a glance as he walked in. He was thankful for this. He recognized no one and they didn't recognize him, so he was free to do a quiet work out alone. 

  There was a track on the upper level of the gymnasium that wrapped around the room that was rarely populated. Kylo liked to start his regimen with a light jog, as the process of running required little brain power so he could clear his mind. One lap was a half mile and he intended to run for an hour before moving to Force training.

  Soon, his timekeeper chimed, marking an hours worth of running. It hardly felt as such, though the dull ache in his legs could attest for the time his mind couldn't. He picked up his pace to reach the line, then sat on the bench. He felt better by far. He no longer felt like he was drowning in his own thoughts. He was in the perfect mindset for Force training.

  The showers in the training room only ran cold, but that was fine. He washed himself of the sweat quickly, then went back to his room.

 Once there he made himself comfortable on the bed. It was chilly in the room. Even though his clothes he felt the coolness of the  _ Finalizer. _

  He scooted further onto the bed and got into position; crossed legs, closed eyes, chin pointed up slightly and straight back. He found his center in his abdomen and imagined his energy gathering there, then spread it over the ship. The further he went the more thoughts he heard. He continued until he could hear all the thoughts of everyone on the ship, like the din of a city. He couldn't make out any individual thoughts but he could hone in on one if he so wished.

  Kylo chose an unwitting victim at random for his experiments. The man was hard at work on the bridge, keeping track of the ship's trajectory. Kylo slipped into his mind carefully, and suddenly his vision was filled with what the man saw.

  It was quite boring. A star map with numbers and terms that meant nothing to Kylo. His thoughts were amplified in Kylo's mind as they were sharing headspace, but the man was wholly unaware of Kylo's presence. 

  Possession was no easy task. The amount of energy it was sapping from Kylo was substantial. He had to dig his metaphorical claws in his brain to keep from falling back into his own body.

  But Kylo wasn't content with his small victory. He had to go further.

  With effort, he was able to overtake the man’s action. He repeated 'stop’ in the man’s head for a moment before the fingers moving deftly over the keyboard froze. Kylo dug his claws in deeper, garnering the energy to be able to persuade the man's actions as well as his senses.

  Finally, after moments of willing, the man looked around the bridge. He looked at the man beside him, out the transparisteel screen, then turned in his seat to look at the captain and co-captain. Hux was talking to Phasma about some business, pointing at the control screen in front of them. Kylo willed the man to stay there so he could view Hux in his natural environment for a moment. 

  Hux glanced up, then noticed his staring. “Mitaka, can I help you?” Hux asked.

  Mitaka felt suddenly embarrassed. Kylo tried to speak for him but his energy was sapped.

  “N-no sir, sorry,” Mitaka said.

  “Then get back to work.”

  Kylo snapped back to his own mind like a rubber band. A headache sprouted behind his eyes almost immediately, and his hands flew to his temples to try to alleviate the pain.

  Already he had improved since last he’d done it, though. With a trooper in the gym some weeks ago he’d only been able to share his mind, not take action. With some practice each day he would perfect mind sharing soon, and it wouldn't take such a toll on him.

  He shifted onto his back and closed his eyes. Blessedly, sleep came before the full headache set completely, though he wasn't asleep for long before someone was at his door.

  When he woke the throbbing headache was blindingly painful. White spots danced in his vision and he felt dangerously close to passing out. His brain felt overstretched and the aching pain was like nails digging into his skull. Kylo flinched and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to will it away. His fingers pressed at his temples and in his head he reminded himself that pain made him stronger. Pain made him stronger. Pain made him stronger. The pain would soon be gone and Kylo would be more in tune with the Force, a honed weapon.

  The door opened and Kylo forced himself to look up. Hux stood in the doorway, looking somewhat panicked. His cheeks were flushed as though he'd been running and he wasn't even attempting to hide the worry in his eyes. 

  “Ren,” he said, voice clipped and quiet. He sounded surprised. What a sight he must be, teeth clenched and tears in the corners of his eyes. He was more vulnerable then than Hux had ever seen him before. In his sorry state he couldn't even feel the Force around him.

  “Hux,” Kylo choked out. The sound of his own voice made him flinch.

  “You're not feeling well.”

  Kylo barked out a laugh, which he immediately regretted. “You could say that.”

  Hux didn't retort. Instead he strode over to Kylo’s bedside and sat on the edge. He took Kylo's chin in his hand and examined his eyes. He seemed to have regained composure but Kylo still saw the worry. “What happened to you?” He pressed a hand to Kylo's forehead gingerly, then down to the pulse at his neck. At his touch the pain let off marginally, so Kylo leaned into it.

  “I was training with the Force. I'll be fine, it goes away a few hours, usually.”

  He frowned, something like anger flashing behind his eyes. “This is normal?” Kylo nodded. “Hells I could feel your distress from the other side of the ship. I thought you were bloody dying!”

  Kylo raised his eyebrows. Emotion over the Force bond only projected while awake, so that was more likely than not his subconscious reaching out for help from Hux. Interesting, he thought.

  “I'll call for pain relievers,” Hux said as he stood. “Come to my quarters so I can keep an eye on you.” He offered a hand to help him up and Kylo took it.

  The white lights in the hall were blinding, but Hux guided him. When they reached Hux’s room he turned the lights to ten percent and helped him down onto the bed. After he called for painkillers he sat beside him and started stroking his head. Kylo closed his eyes. The repetitive motion was relaxing. The pain didn't leave completely but it let up significantly at his petting.

  “You're very nice when you want to be,” Kylo muttered. Despite the pain he was already slipping back to sleep.

  “Don't get used to it,” Hux said, a note of humor in his voice. Kylo smiled. If his head didn't throb every time he moved he'd have liked to kiss Hux then.

  Hux answered the door when the droid arrived. He helped Kylo sit up to take the pill, then laid back down beside him. The medicine he got then was much stronger than the pills from that morning, and as soon as he'd swallowed them his headache started to fade. 

  “How do you usually deal with this?” Hux asked.

  “I don't. Pain is a common Force training method.”

  Kylo knew he wouldn't say anything as the Academy had similar ideals but he looked less than pleased at this revelation.

  “Lay with me. Please?” Kylo asked. 

  Hux didn't argue. His hand on Kylo's forehead continued to move slowly, but he laid beside him.

  “Wake me up tomorrow before you go. Please,” Kylo asked.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay.”

  Carefully, Hux leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Kylo’s forehead. “Sleep now.”

~

  Hux didn't have problems with insomnia, typically. He learned early on how to fall asleep in high stress environments, so sleeping while worrying was ever an issue. 

  But he couldn't sleep that night.

  Ren's mind was no longer calling out to him, but he remembered when it was vividly. It was frantic, pained, a steady thrum of fear and panic and agony along their bond.

  He had been busy when first he heard it, with two hours left on his shift. His knee-jerk reaction was to go to him but he couldn't. He had imperative work to do on the bridge, but he was terribly split and couldn't focus with Ren's mind calling to him.

  He worked for an hour before leaving early. Phasma took the helm and he sped to where Ren was. Anxiety boiled on his stomach and it took all he had to not flat-out run to him. When he reached the door he used his override key to force the door open. 

  Ren was hunched over in pain on the bed. His fingers were clawed at the sides of his head and his eyes were wide. Panic staked through his heart and it didn't leave until Ren fell back asleep beside him.

  It was the damned Force causing his pain. Of course it was. He told Hux that the pain was a detrimental part of his training, something that fueled his hatred for the Force. Though he was used to pain being a part of grooming, he despised the idea of Ren in pain. It made him bristle, quite involuntarily. 

  Now, with Ren safe and content beside him he still felt that churning in his gut. He looked over and saw the man sleeping peacefully. He no longer had that terrified, pained look on his face. His jaw was slack and his breaths came out long and steady rather than in pants. He smoothed his thumb over Ren’s temple. His mother used to pet his head when Hux was in pain as a child. It always helped, no matter what it was ailing him, and it seemed to have worked on Ren as well. 

  He sighed and sat up. He was a stress smoker, though he suspected he'd have a habit to break once this all blew over. If this all blew over. The pack of cigarettes had slowly depleted over the last few days, and his stash in his night stand was wearing thin.

  He lit the cigarette and took a long drag. The burn in his lungs relaxed him. He took another drag them watched the paper burn. It was therapeutic, watching the fire burn away the tobacco. He was a pyromaniac in his youth, though most children were at some point. It wasn't long after they’d moved to Mandalore that he had gotten in trouble for setting an empty lot on fire. He was never caught by the authorities but his parents heard about the fire and smelled the smoke on his clothes. He was yelled at for hours by his father.

  Ren stirred beside him. The man tossed and turned in his sleep when he wasn't clinging to Hux like his life depended on it. It had taken a few nights to not be bothered by Ren's sleeping habits, but the joy of having another warm body beside him in bed overshadowed the discomfort. 

  Hux took another drag from his cigarette and snuffed it out. There was a half left, but he would save it for later. Instead he laid down and wrapped his arms around Ren’s waist. The man stilled and woke enough to move to his side and fling his own arm over Hux. 

  Hux was never a cuddler before Ren. With all his previous partners bedtime was sex, then they moved to opposite sides of the bed to sleep. He never cared about them as he did Ren though. He had never said he loved them, never kissed them beyond sex. He sometimes wondered if that was the effect of the Force bond or his own genuine feelings, but he cared about Ren far more than he ever had his previous partners even before the bond.

  He sighed and rested his head against Ren's chest. In a few days he may not have Ren to hold as he slept, or Ren may not have him. The thought terrified him. He fisted his hands in the fabric of Ren’s shirt.

  “You think too loud,” Ren muttered.

  “Sorry,” Hux said. He released his vice grip on the fabric and ran his hands over the newly formed wrinkles.

  “I'll be fine. As will you. I'll make sure of it.”

  Hux looked up to meet Ren's gaze. He believed him. Ren was powerful. He could stop bolts of light in mid air and pluck thoughts from people's minds with ease. Ren was powerful, and he wanted more than than anything to believe that he could defeat Snoke. 

  He shifted upwards, then kissed him. His hand moved to tangle in Kylo’s hair and hold him close. So close he could feel Ren's heart beat against his own. The steady thrum that told Hux he was alive. 

  “I trust you,” he said truthfully. 


	16. Chapter 16

  Kylo gripped the handle of his saber so hard that the metal dug into his skin. The ship was alive around him, their minds relentless against his own. They had never been so loud before. This was a special occasion.

  He swallowed hard and went back into position. Before him was Rey. Her eyes were filled with fierce determination. She was a natural born warrior, itching to be on the battlefield. Kylo wished he could share her sentiment, but he was nervous. In less than a day they both would be on a sandy planet on the edge of the Galaxy, battling one of the most powerful Force users alive.

  “Keep focus, Kylo. If you're distracted now you're going to be distracted tomorrow.”

  Kylo set his jaw and took stance again. 

  Bruises bloomed over his body from the blunt of Rey's sword. He kept his eyes fixed on her, waiting for her next action. The wooden sword flashed in his vision and instinct raised his arm to counter it. The hollow sound echoed in the empty practice chamber. 

  He jumped back and countered it, a blow to her side that she blocked easily. She pushed forward and Kylo nearly dropped his weapon. He recovered quickly, but that momentary lapse allowed her to push closer. He moved sideways to avoid another swing, then aimed for her side. She blocked it, but he had the advantage this time. He shoved her back and she fell, then rolled to the side and leapt up. When she was standing once more Kylo’s blade was at her neck.

  “Better,” she observed, eyes on Kylo’s. “Much better.”

  Kylo dropped his shoulders and lowered his weapon. “I won't be distracted tomorrow.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “I believe you.”

  Kylo sighed. “One more round?”

  She shook her head. “We can't overexert ourselves.”

  Annoyance bubbled in Kylo’s mind, but he understood.

  “Eat well tonight, and get rest,” she said. She placed a hand on Kylo’s shoulder and worry flashed across her eyes.

  “You as well,” he said. 

  She nodded, then walked to the showers. Kylo dropped onto the bench where his items were. He leaned forward and buried his face in his hands for a moment before dressing.

~

  Rey let the cold water run over her. The stream of water felt nice, the cool biting into her, chilling her to her bones. She closed her eyes and focused on it. 

  She valued predictability. Having a clear route and sureness was always her best bet. But now everything was unclear. In two days time she could be dead. Her crew could be dead. She could be alone, everyone she'd ever known murdered by the mysterious creature known as Snoke. She knew loneliness well. When Luke abandoned her to pursue mentorship, she was alone. Even though Leia acted as her fill-in parent, she still felt the bitter sting of abandonment. It hurt, she knew. And she didn't want to feel that again.

  She shivered, perhaps from the cold shower or the thoughts invading her head. 

  She stepped out of the cold stream and it shut off. She had no appetite but she knew she had to eat. Finn and Poe were in the cafeteria as well, and she wanted to spend some time with them before the day ended. 

  It was full with people, but the atmosphere was quiet. People talked not at all or quietly amongst their friend groups, but the familiar hum of the cafeteria was gone. Even Finn, Poe, and herself didn't speak much as they ate their meal. The silence was heavy in her gut.

  “We'll be fine,” she said, breaking the silence.

  They both looked up at her. “Yeah,” Poe said with an optimistic little smile, but not without nerves and doubt behind it. “I'm sure we will be.”

~

  “Eighteen hours to landing,” Mitaka announced.

  Hux swallowed. The ship's cloaking device was up so they were undetectable on radar and by sight. The two Resistance ships were as well, but a shared connection kept them visible via radar to each other. 

  Everything was going smoothly. But that didn't stop the fear from quelling in Hux’s throat.

  “Why don't you get some rest, Hux,” Phasma said. “I'll take over.”

  She placed a hand on his shoulder. He almost told her no, but he realized he probably looked like death. He was leading the battle, he couldn't do so in his current state of mind. 

  “Very well,” he said. “Call for me if  _ anything _ goes wrong.”

  “Of course. Go.”

  His room was empty when he arrived. He took a long shower, as hot as the water would go, then settled at his desk.

  As a child he loved to read. His mother had hard copies, passed down from ages, that she used to read with him. His father called reading a waste of time, and for a while Hux had convinced himself he felt the same. 

  Now, years later he kept many book files on his tablet, though he rarely had the opportunity to read them. He scrolled through the list, knowing exactly which book he wanted.

  He found his mother's favorite book. It was about the adventures of an explorer seeking other galaxies and the things he finds. It was a classic, the atypical adventure/storytelling novel. The cover art was of a handsome, rugged man on a tropical planet.

  He swiped to the first page and began reading.

  His mother was always a beacon of calm. She was smart, optimistic, patient, and understanding. He admired her for that, though it took many years for him to understand that. When he went to the Academy he idolized his father. He was the rational one, and his mother was the naive, dreaming one. It took him four years of academy and too many attempts to be his father to realize that his father was a hot-headed, impatient, selfish man. He was brilliant in many ways, but his faults were too many to turn a blind eye to.

  When he stopped trying to be his father was when he began to prosper. He graduated Academy at the top of his class in most every aspect and he was the top alumni thus far.

  He returned home after graduation, and that was when he killed his father. Patricide was the greatest sin, according to the religion of his home planet of Corellia. Whatever ties to the religion his father served ached at the sin he committed, but more than he felt guilty did he feel free. The man who had caused his sufferings, who'd made his and his mother's lives miserable, was dead. The man who constantly belittled and insulted him was rotting at the bottom of the sea.

  He was the youngest General to ever serve in the time it took his father to rise to Commandant. His mother was far more supportive of him than his father ever was, and he didn't return home often but when he did she was there. Still in the house on the cliff. Sanctuary from the storm.

  So he read, and he tried to channel some of her calm rationality as he did so. He imagined her, with this book in her lap as he played on the floor in front of her. The spine was worn and the pages brown and fragile. 

  Hours went by, though Hux didn't notice them. He only looked up from the tablet when his doors hissed open.

  Kylo stepped in, sweaty and flushed from training. He regarded Hux before moving silently to the restroom for a shower.

  Hux turned back to his book. The hero had crash landed on a planet devoid of sentient life but rich in vegetation. He wandered for many days, weary and starved, before finding another life form.

  Kylo came out of the bathroom, clean, but still tired and weary.

  They were quiet for a moment before Kylo spoke again. “Come to bed, please?”

  Hux shut off his tablet and stood. In seconds Hux had his lips on Kylo's.

  Kylo held him close, as close as he could. His hands gripped Hux’s hips, his mouth was relentless. Hux shuddered and moved his hands into his hair.

  “Gods,” Kylo muttered. Hux pulled away and grabbed Kylo's hand. He used it to tug him to the bed, to urge him down and straddle his hips.


	17. Chapter 17

  Hux woke up before the alarm and reveled in the peace. Ren's breathes and the hum of the ventilator were the only sounds he heard. Even the pulse of the ship seem muted that morning. It was pleasant. He laid on his back and stared up at the ceiling and listened to the sounds in a contemplative state. 

  His alarm jarred him from his peace. Beside him Ren woke, then, after his lucidity returned, sighed.

  Neither wanted to leave their little sanctuary. Beyond this room lied the things they'd been dreading for weeks. Beyond this room lied uncertainty, destruction. Death, or the possibility of it.

  Yet, they still got up and readied themselves. It was time for Hux to reap what he'd sown. This was years of planning, months of preparation, come to fruit. He was excited, but still nervous. Mostly, though, he just wanted to get it over with.

~

  The troops stood in formation, statue-still in several long lines, surrounded only by the flat beige desert and red skies for miles. They looked ghastly with their face masks and armor on; inhuman, menacing even. 

  “Ready, march!” Phasma called. 

  Like a single being the army moved forward. Silent, and stoic. The sound of their footfalls were muted by the sand, only the howl of the wind filled the silence. 

  Nothing came out of the fortress to halt them. When they reached the walls and blew up the front door nothing attacked. The inaction was unnerving.

  They pressed forth. The fortress was large, so they split up into several ten-man divisions to secure the area. General Organa and Hux led the first division, Phasma and Kylo the second. Rey lead a division full of Resistance fighters, as did Poe and Finn. Now wasn't the time to contemplate what this meant. 

  There was a long stretch of inaction. Kylo scanned the area with the Force but the looming presence of the creature upstairs overrode anything else he might find. It was terrifying. His Force signature was dark black and overwhelming. Tendrils of the dark side wrapped around Kylo and he was couldn't decide if it was soothing or suffocating. It was almost like the creature was trying to lure him into the dark. 

  “West wing clear, over,” Phasma reported over the communicator. 

  “First floor is clear. Rendezvous at staircase.”

  They regrouped at the staircase and moved to the second floor. The creature's presence grew marginally smaller. He was right above them now, on the third and final floor. Kylo felt unclean being so close to the being. The mere feeling of his power, his presence made Kylo's heart race. His survival instincts chose flight. Kylo wanted to leave, to run from the monster above him.

  Behind one door, in what once appeared to be a kitchen but was now a large, empty room was people. They didn't speak but pressed against the walls like insects from the light, afraid of what the intruders might do. 

  “They’ve been brainwashed,” Kylo said. He didn't need the Force to know that.

  “Gods,” Phasma cursed. She reported their presence on the communicator. Another squadron came after some minutes to capture the prisoners and load them onto the ship.

  They found nearly two hundred servants on the second level. They were all detained and housed on the Resistance ship  _ Impavid _ in hopes that whatever had been done to them could be reversed.

  Finally, they ascended to the third and final floor. The Force users, alongside Hux who was leading the fight, stayed together. They were trailed by Phasma's troupe that would guard the door should they be ambushed.

  “He’s near,” Kylo said. The presence now was like agony. He felt like he was suffocating in it’s darkness. Rey and Leia seemed to be feeling the same thing, but Hux looked wholly unaffected.

  Kylo led them down the hall to the door. The energy behind it was like engine sludge. It left a metallic taste on his tongue, made his heart rate quicken.

  “Here,” Kylo said. He opened the door quickly, then they all braced for attack.

  “So we meet,” Snoke spoke slowly. His dark, raspy voice echoed off the stone walls like they were in a cavern. It made Kylo feel trapped. “I've been expecting you. Please, come in.”

  The group hesitated before walking in. Hux, Leia, Rey, and Kylo. The door slammed shut behind them. Kylo heard the locking mechanism click in place.

  The creature before them was tall and skinny, aged and barely human. His eyes were beady and black and the fingers gripping the arms of the great stone throne he sat upon were long and wiry.

  “I should have known you'd be the one to betray me, General. You're spineless scum, like your father.”

  Hux stayed silent. Kylo wanted to reach out to him but he couldn't feel his presence through the sludge of Snoke's. 

  “Always so full of hatred, General. I'll kill you first so your friends may watch.”

  A single wiry hand raised towards Hux and Kylo instinctively stopped it in it's place. His fingers were frozen in mid air, arched like skinny gray claws. Snoke turned to snarl at him.

  “And what is this?”

  Kylo swallowed hard. He felt fear, but no regret. Hux was watching him with wide eyes.

  “Ky-lo Ren. You're strong with the Force.”

  With a swipe of his other hand Kylo slid against the stone floor into the wall. He hit hard and white flashes of pain ran through his body. 

  “But not strong enough. Idiot boy. If only your brain was bigger than your heart,” Snoke growled. He tightened his fist and Kylo felt the Force closing in around him. Crushing him. He tasted blood on his tongue, felt it dripping from the corner of his mouth.

  The room suddenly jumped into action. Leia and Rey combined were able to pry the Force off of Kylo, but as soon as they did so they were thrown back. 

  Snoke was standing now, hand pointed at the pair as he pinned them against the wall by their necks. His eyes were wild, teeth bared. His other hand was keeping a blaster bolt frozen in the air. The blaster itself was broken on the ground, inches away from Hux, who was stood still with another invisible hand around his neck.

  “Fools!” he shouted. 

  Kylo raised his hand and pain shot through him. His arm was broken, he could feel it. He grit his teeth and persisted, pushing Snoke enough to knock his focus and make him let go of everything he held in place. The blaster bolt flew through the air and the three of them all fell as the Force relented.

  “Hold him in place!” he shouted at Rey and Leia.

  They didn't argue, both hands going up in unison. Snoke was suddenly frozen in place on his throne.

  Kylo took the saber off his belt and threw it at Hux, then closed his eyes and mustered all his energy into pushing his mind into Snoke’s. It was difficult. The throbbing pain in his arm served as a distraction, and when Snoke realized what he was trying to do he started laughing as well. It echoed off the walls, booming and loud. 

  He thought of Hux, of Snoke with tendrils of the Force wrapped around Hux’s neck. He used the rage that boiled within him to center himself, then pushed forward. He gritted his teeth, the dark energy flowed through him now, and he used it to project his mind to Snoke's.

  And he was in. 

  He felt the dark around him, thrumming with anger and hatred and all those emotions he was told to stay away from. Now it was powering him. It kept him grounded in Snoke's twisted mind. The dark wasn't Snoke’s to wield anymore, it was Kylo’s.

  “Get out!” Snoke yelled. He thrashed against the invisible bindings, but now it was three holding him in place. Kylo gripped his brain further and Snoke roared in pain.

  Hux realized what Kylo inteneded. He activated the saber and ran to Snoke's throne. Snoke roared again, a primal sound. His rage flowed through Kylo like the waters of the lake of D’Qar, powering him. 

  Kylo felt the lightsaber push through Snoke's chest as though it were his own. Hot pain bloomed through his chest, but he stayed in Snoke's mind until he was fully dead. Until his primal yell was silenced, and Kylo was occupying a corpse.

  He loosened his grip on Snoke’s mind and shot back into his own. There was a moment of silence as everyone stared at Snoke. Rey and Leia let go of him and Hux pulled the saber out. Snoke's corpse fell onto the steps with an empty thud. It was odd, almost anticlimactic to see him slumped over the stone steps like that. The man whose name was whispered in fear, who most thought was only a myth, looked almost human in death. 

  But the pain came crashing down on Kylo like a landslide. The headache came instantly, worse than any before, so intense that his vision blurred and darkened at the edges. His brain throbbed, like nails were being pushed through his skull. He gripped his head and cried out.

  “Ren!” Hux gasped. He dropped the saber and ran to where Kylo was. “Call medical,” he said into the communicator. “Quick!”

  Hux, eyes wide and frantic with worry, was the last thing Kylo saw before he passed out.


	18. Chapter 18

  “What happened to him?”

  Leia had boarded the _Finalizer_ to see to her son's recovery. She trusted the medics to do well, especially since Hux was personally supervising them, but she wanted to be sure of his health.

  “He possessed Snoke,” Leia said.

  Rey was following her. It had been only a few hours since Snoke’s death. The ship was bustling with people. The medbay was especially busy with all of Snoke's slaves. There had been thousands in the palace, and the Resistance had taken the majority of them.

  They were identifying them as they went and found most of them to be people reported missing or even dead as far back as ten years ago. Snoke had been stealing travellers who flew too close to his planet as slaves. The thought sent shivers down Leia's spine.

  “Possessed?”

  “He sent his consciousness into Snoke’s and piloted his brain. It's very difficult to do, which is why it took such a toll on him.”

  They found Hux sitting in front of a sectioned off area with a datapad. When they approached he stood and greeted them.

  “General Organa, Rey,” he said, offering a hand. They both shook it. “How can I help you?”

  He looked a mess. His usually neat hair was messy and his clothes were a dirty and wrinkled. There was a dark ring of bruises from Snoke as well, though they didn't seem to bother him.

  “How is he?” Leia asked. She reached out with the Force and found him blank, sedated.

  “His arm and three ribs were broken and they're doing surgery now to piece them back together. They scanned his brain as well and found nothing, so the headache hasn't done permanent damage. He told me it passes after some time. They suspect he’ll made a full recovery.”

  Leia nodded, relief washing over her. “Good,” she said, letting out a breath. A weight lifted off her shoulders.

  Hux nodded in agreement.

  “When you're free there's things we must discuss. Take your time here, of course,” she said. She placed a hand on Hux’s shoulder, a motherly gesture. He stiffened in surprise, but didn't shrug her off.

  “Thank you, General. I'll be sure to contact you as soon as I'm free.”

  “Keep me posted on his recovery as well.”

  “Of course.”

  “I'll be seeing you.” She said, then turned and walked out of medbay.

  Hux was still General Starkiller, and she still didn't know his plans now that Snoke was dead. For now, however, they were on the same side. For now, while her son was in medbay and he was in charge of his health, she could put aside their differences. They still had much to do about Snoke as well, so their temporary alliances were still in place.

~

  Killing a Supreme Leader came with a lot of paperwork. Hux used the downtime during Kylo's surgery to work on it.

  There had been few deaths between the Resistance and his side, but they had taken on nearly 3,000 of Snoke's puppets and taken them in. The Resistance took the majority, perhaps out of compassion for the beings, or perhaps because they thought Hux would turn them into First Order soldiers. The medbay was full, with every droid and human working on a psych analysis. He had yet to hear any results, good or bad.

  He had more troops sweeping Snoke's fortress as well. Snoke had several Jedi and Sith artifacts, in a locked safe room. One trooper had been killed after touching an artifact, which had brought the total death count up to one, so Hux decided to leave that be until a Force user was free enough to deal with them.

  Beyond that, however, he hadn't much else. The creature had no need for money and a lot of the rooms of his fortress were unused. After the place was sufficiently empty Hux planned to atomize it.

  The curtain behind him pulled back. Hux closed his datapad and stood.

  “Report?” he asked.

  “Surgery went as expected. Master Ren will made a complete recovery. He shall regain consciousness in around two hours,” the droid said.

  Hux nodded. “Very well,” he said, letting out a breath.

  The droid left for it’s next operation. Hux moved his chair within the curtains and sat by Kylo’s bed. He'd barely settled back in his seat to work when the curtain was pulled back again.

  “Sir? Phasma wishes to speak to you,” a doctor said.

  “Send her in,” he said.

  The doctor shifted uncomfortably. “Room capacity is reached. Letting another person in would be against regulation.”

  Hux huffed and stood up. “Hells, fine.”

  Phasma was waiting in the hall when he stepped out. She was still in her armor, and dirty from the sandy planet.

  “What?” he asked, not even attempting to keep the annoyance out of his tone.

  “We got a message from the First Order.”

  Hux raised his eyebrows. He'd suspected it would happen, but not so soon after Snoke's death.

  “What does it say?”

  “They wish to confer with you. They're on their way and should arrive in five days time. We should have a meeting discussing our plans before then.”

  Hux nodded. “We shall. General Organa wishes for a private meeting with me as well so I'll schedule one soon.”

  “What _are_ your plans?”

  He knew what he wanted, but he wanted to discuss it with Ren after he woke. If Ren refused to be First Order, he would compromise. He only hoped Kylo would compromise as well.

  “They will be discussed. I'll be in contact with you as soon as my schedule becomes more clear.”

~

  Kylo woke feeling disoriented. For a moment all he saw was white. His lucidity returned in waves, and once he felt conscious again he sat up.

  “Easy,” Hux said, placing a hand on Kylo’s arm. “How do you feel?”

  “Better. Much better.” Kylo raised his arm up. It didn’t hurt, though it was stiff with dried bacta strips.

  “What about your head?”

  “Fine.”

  Hux looked relieved. “Good. Lay back down, the medicine hasn't worn off completely.”

  “I'm fine,” he protested, but he still laid down.

  Hux stood up and fussed with the bandages. Upon taking it off he saw only a long, skinny, white scar inches long.

  “What about you?” Kylo asked. The bruises around his neck were dark, a stark dichotomy to Hux’s pale skin.

  “I'm fine.”

  Kylo ran his finger over the bruises. The skin was warm and raw. Hux shivered at Kylo's touch.

  “These don't look fine.”

  “The doctor checked them. They're fine.”

  Kylo nodded in approval. The curtain slid back and a doctor stepped into the makeshift room. She asked him questions like, “When did you wake?” and “Do you feel any pain or discomfort?” while tapping on her datapad all the while. Kylo answered by her questions quickly, then stood when she asked. She had him flex and lift with his once broken arm, then twist and stretch his torso. He felt no irregularities.

  “You're clear to leave. If you experience any complications come back,” she said. “Do not overexert yourself for at least the rest of the week in case the bacta doesn't take.”

  They left the medbay. Kylo was still tired. The echoes of the headache still wracked around his brain, though the pain was insignificant compared to what it was. Even Hux didn't seem to notice any distress coming from him.

  They reached an empty hall and Hux spoke. “We need to talk.” It was said with an air of professionalism, the façade Hux used on his voice to keep any emotion from being expressed.

  Kylo sighed. He knew this was coming. There was a lot that needed to be discussed, important things that couldn't be shirked. But he really didn't want to discuss it then.

  “Okay,” Kylo said, despite himself.

  Hux took him to his office. They weren't far, Hux had already been heading towards it when he spoke. Kylo hadn't a choice, or Hux was optimistic.

  Kylo dropped in the seat heavily. Hux sat across from him, hands steepled and face carefully emotionless. “What did you want to talk about?” Kylo asked, giving Hux the floor.

  Hux sighed. “I would like to return to the First Order.”

  Kylo stared at him. “You understand my reservations, right?”

  Hux nodded. “I do.”

  Kylo swallowed. “If, theoretically, you did rejoin the First Order, what would happen to me? I don't suppose they would let a straggler on their ship.”

  Hux shook his head. “I could talk to them.”

  “And what of my crew?”

  Hux faltered. “We couldn't call armistice with the Resistance. General Organa would never allow it, and by sheer nature of what the First Order does, it wouldn't be possible. We could haggle a no-harm clause. Should the Resistance attack they kill or harm your crew or family. Though that is a stretch and not everyone would agree with it.”

  Kylo mulled that over. He had no loyalties to the Resistance beyond his family and friends. “I won't give an affirmative answer now. If you can ensure that no harm will come to my family, I will come with you to the First Order. I'll work whatever job needs to be done, as long as my family's safety is guaranteed.”

  Hux grew hopeful. “Of course. In five days time I shall have word from them.” After a pause Hux asked. “What would you like to do?”

  Kylo shrugged. He truly didn't know. He and his crew had been banking on taking Hux’s job. He didn't want to leave Hux, and he knew his crew knew about that. Rey would have no problem rejoining the Resistance, nor would Poe. Finn would undoubtedly follow them. He would assimilate easily with the others. He strived for goodness, and the Resistance represented that.

  Hux sighed. “I'm open for compromise, Ren. We can find middle ground,” he said.

  “You know my compromise.”

  Hux nodded. He swallowed, then sighed. “I wouldn't go anywhere without you, Ren.”

  Kylo felt a warmth spread through his chest. “Nor would I. I'd die for you. You know this,” he said.

  Hux smiled. “I do. Unfortunately.”

~

  The First Order fleet announced their arrival sooner than Hux had expected. He was in his office, trying to thin the tall stack of paperwork he still had left to do.

  The Resistance ship was still docked beside his. General Organa had agreed to postpone their meeting until the end of the week cycle. He hadn't told her it was so he could talk to the First Order. She'd find out soon enough, though.

  As soon as he got the call that the First Order had docked beside them he postponed the rest of his day to meet with them.

  He brought Ren onto the First Order ship. He, after all, had no idea how the First Order would react to him, he had betrayed them and killed their leader. Ren was adequate protection. Hux trusted him, of course, especially after seeing the full extent of his abilities, but just in case he tucked his blaster into it's holster.

  The ship they brought, the _Revenant_ , was a Resurgence Class ship, on par with the _Finalizer_. It's captain, Kraton Norith, was a Zygerrian man with whom Hux had shared some classes with during Academy. He hadn't known the man then and he'd only spoken to him some after Academy, though he’d heard good things about him.

  He greeted Hux at the top of the ramp. He had two guards flanking him, though the fact that that was all he had was a good sign.

  “Hux,” he said. He wore the marks of a General now. The sly grin on his face said that this was supposed to offend Hux in some way.

  “Captain Norith,” Hux said.

  “General Norith, actually,” he corrected, eyes narrowing.

  They regarded each other for a moment before Norith stepped aside and invited him into the ship.

  “Welcome aboard the _Revenant_ , Hux. I'll show you to my office.”

  The halls of the _Revenant_ were similar to the halls of the _Finalizer_ . They were grey and featureless, narrow, and lined with identical doors numbered in solid black numbers. The blueprints were more or less the same, though the _Revenant_ was more modernized and slightly smaller than his ship.

  Norith’s office was near the bridge, as was Hux’s on the _Finalizer_. It was decorated elegantly, with art and colorful luxuries from different planets, far too ostentatious for Hux’s minimal tastes. The Zygerrian kind did have a penchant for shiny and expensive artifacts, an instinct from their Felinx ancestors.

  Norith pulled two seats out before sitting in his own.

  “So, you've been busy,” Norith said.

  “That can be said.”

  “A lot has changed in the First Order since you left. Snoke became obsessed with finding a map to the last Jedi, and in that time the First Order conquered many outer rim planets. Insignificant, but some suspect they may be rich in heavy metals if one has enough credits and provisions to do drill into their cores.”

  Hux raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

  “Your betrayal crippled the First Order. You were a well respected General. When you left our morale dropped severely, and defectors became more of a problem. They followed you.”

  “Are you suggesting I be reinstated as General, General?” Hux said with a slight smile.

  “Gods no. But there is a seat open for Supreme Leader, and if you go by ancient law you are the rightful successor, as you were the one who killed Snoke.”

  Hux raised his chin. “Does the First Order work on ancient law now?”

  Norith leaned forward, resting on his elbows. “I'm sure an exception could be made.”

  Hux mirrored his posture. “In the interest of full disclosure, my partner here also killed Snoke.”

  “That won't be a problem.”

  Hux leaned back, pleased. “Very well. Before a decision is made, I have stipulations.”

~

  Back on the Finalizer, Hux was in high spirits, Kylo could feel his joy through the bond.

  “Are you pleased with the outcome of the meeting?” Hux asked once they were alone.

  “Extremely,” Kylo said. All of his terms had been accepted, and after coronation he and Hux would have joint power over the First Order and its proceedings. Kylo didn't see himself involving himself much in the business of the First Order, but it was the idea of it that counted.

  Hux’s communicator chimed and he answered it.

  “General Organa wishes to confer with you,” Phasma said. Her hologram face looked mildly irritated, like she'd just been in an argument.

  “When?”

  “Immediately.”

  Hux huffed. He was drowning in paperwork, Kylo knew, and his mother must be as well. he couldn't imagine any meeting that she demanded happen immediately be a good thing. Hux must have understood this too. “Invite her aboard and send her to my office, would you?” Hux asked.

  “Yessir,” Phasma said. The hologram flickered and disappeared.

  “Well,” Hux said. He turned to look at Kylo. “Will you join me? I'm sure the topic of conversation will pertain to you as well.”

  Kylo was hesitant. He knew what Hux was alluding to, and he wasn't sure if he could face his mother and tell her he now sided with the enemy.

  “I won't be mad if you wish not to,” Hux added, softer.

  Kylo sighed. “It's the least I could do to tell her myself.”

~

  Leia had only been on the _Finalizer_ twice and each time she found it too cold and impersonal. Everyone was rushing around constantly, there was no one talking or smiling in the halls. The crew were more like robots than people, though seeing as how most of them came from the First Order she should have expected that.

  She followed a crew member to Hux’s office. He walked briskly through the halls. They seemed like a maze to her, and it made her wonder how long it took him to be able to navigate the massive ship with such ease. She wondered if her son could, he'd been on for some months according to Rey. “Thank you,” she said when he stopped at a door.

  The man bowed, then turned and went back to where they’d come.

  The First Order vessel had landed sometime early that morning. They'd picked it up on their radar the previous night, and they hadn't gotten involved until after Hux and her son had been spotted walking from it.

  She had her suspicions of what had happened within the ship, but she wanted to know for sure. She had prepared herself for the worst, but she hoped for the best. However unlikely the best was.

  She requested entry and seconds later the door opened.

  The first thing she noticed was Ben sitting in a chair against the wall. When she reached out to him with the Force she noticed a change. It wasn't subtle at all, the radiated darkness now.

  Her mouth went dry. The light was still there, but it was smothered in the black. She turned away from him to face Hux.

  He stood politely when she stepped in.

  “General Organa. Have a seat.”

  She pulled the chair out and sat, fighting the urge to glance at her son.

  Hux was carefully neutral. He had a barricade over his mind, letting no thoughts or emotion come through. “What did you need to discuss.”

  “I think you know, Hux,” she said.

  Hux raised an eyebrow. “I know of many things you probably want to discuss with me. I'll let you decide where we start.”

  She leaned back in her seat. “Fine, tell me what that First Order vessel is doing here.”

  “We killed their leader. We came to discuss terms and agreements upon the subject.”

  Leia raised her chin, skeptical. “You didn't call them.”

  “I did not not call them.”

  Leia examined him. He didn't seem to be lying, or he was a very good liar.

  “Okay, I believe you. Tell me what you discussed with them when you boarded their ship.”

  “Apologies, but how does that pertain to you. Our alliance ended the moment Snoke fell dead.”

  Leia gritted her teeth. “You know how it pertains to me.”

  Hux looked pleased with himself. She quite liked him better when he was too busy fretting over her son to be a smart ass.

  Hux’s expression changed. She felt a tinge of annoyance from her son, then Hux rolled his eyes quickly.

  Han used to gripe at her when her and Luke carried on conversations through the Force. He said he didn't like not being involved in their talk, and Leia used to tell him he was being an idiot. Now she understood his complaints. It was quite discerning to not know what they were saying.

  “General Norith and I discussed the future of the First Order and our involvement in it.”

  “By which you mean?”

  “When Snoke died the position of Supreme Leader became available. We discussed who would take it.”

  “You're the Supreme Leader now?” Leia asked.

  “Not quite.” Hux looked over at Ben.

  “We both are,” he said quickly.

  Leia was shocked. She sat in silence for a moment. A million thoughts ran through her mind but she couldn't articulate any of them. Ben looked uncomfortable under Leia's scrutiny.

  Finally she got out, “Why?”

  Ben was quiet for a moment. “It's nothing against you. I want to stay with Hux.”

  “We made an agreement, the First Order and I,” Hux cut in. “If the Resistance attacks, Rey, Finn, Poe, and yourself are not to be hurt.”

  Leia turned her gaze to the desk. She wondered where her parenting had gone wrong. Sure, she was busy a lot, but she always made time for him. It was always Han who was skeptical of his powers and what side he was on.

  The room was quiet, but still deafening. She wanted to be anywhere but there in that moment.

  She swallowed, set her jaw, then looked up at Hux. “May I have a word with my son?”

  Hux didn't make a snarky comment, didn't smirk or grin. Instead he stood up and nodded. “Of course.”

  The door hissed shut behind Hux. Ben hadn't looked up from his hands in his lap.

  “It's not your fault. If you think I'm joining the First Order because if some vendetta I have, you're wrong. I'm going for Hux, and no reason beyond that,” he said quietly.

  Leia stayed quiet. “I understand,” she said. “You're your own person now, Ben. Kylo. I understand that you will make your own decisions and forge your own path in life. It doesn't make it easier though.”

  Kylo looked up at her, and they finally met eyes. He had her eyes. In every aspect he was like his father except his eyes.

  “This won't be the last time you’ll see me. I'll make this a promise.”

  Leia felt better at that. “As long as next we see each other it isn't because we’re fighting, each other or otherwise.”

  Kylo almost smiled at that. “I'll make sure it won't be.”

~

  Rey took the news easily.

  “I knew it,” she said, giving Kylo a sad look. “I'll miss you, though I can't say I'll miss the life. As much fun as traveling the galaxy was, I want to settle.”

  Kylo pulled Rey into a hug. “I'll miss you too, cousin,” Kylo said truthfully. For all the fighting they did he could never find it in himself to hate her.

  She planned to return to D’Qar to complete her training with Luke. Kylo wished her the best, because he genuinely did want her to succeed. She was more powerful than she realized, and she could be a great Jedi with a proper teacher.

  “If you ever can, I'd very much like to see you again someday.”

  “As would I.”

~

  At the end of the week cycle, the Resistance was gone. Kylo’s crew was gone. He gave his ship back to the Resistance, he'd have no use for it now. Besides that, disconnecting all ties to who he was made it easier to move on.

  Yet, he still felt a weight in his chest, nostalgic almost. He missed them, all of them. He would miss Rey's tenacity, Poe’s saccharine optimism, Finn’s over-enthusiasm.

  Hux kept him close as much as he could, and that helped. He'd abandoned his way of life for the man, and having him near reminded him why he'd done it.

  The First Order wasn't big on large ceremonies. Their coronation as Supreme Leaders was a quiet affair. The leaders of the First Order were there to bear witness and officialize the event, with Norith granting them the power. It was done in an hour.

  They kept the _Finalizer_ . It was reinstated as the First Order’s flagship, replacing the _Revenant_. General Norith was none too pleased, though he held his tongue. The other officers warned them of the dangers. They'd been expected to find a base on a planet and lead from there as Snoke had.

  “I refuse to sit around and bark orders. We’ll be fine. I haven't been killed yet, I shall not be killed now,” he said.

  _'I wouldn't let you be,’_ Kylo thought, and a pleased grin spread over Hux’s face.

  It was months before everything settled. Hux had let the defectors on his ship leave with the Resistance if they liked, so quite a bit of his crew needed to be replaced. The remaining needed to be returned to their previous position, which involved a lot paperwork and a lot of meetings. Hux was busier than ever, but so was Kylo. He wasn't as involved in First Order business as he could be but he shouldered the load as much as he could to help Hux. He didn't have to do paperwork but he did have to attend all the meetings with be an involved member of the crew. Kylo hated meetings but Hux often rewarded him for good behavior.

  Overall, Kylo was happy with his decision. The ache in Kylo's chest faded, though it returned occasionally. He suspected the lingering nostalgia for how things were would never fade, but he was in a new stage of his life. A better stage. He rarely felt the internal conflict anymore. He found comfort in the neutrality, though he often felt more dark than light. Perhaps it was some lingering side effect from possessing Snoke, or perhaps he truly was more dark than light, and it only took escaping people who wanted him to be light to realize this.

  In the bowels of the Finalizer, Kylo and Hux were curled around each other. Their chests rose and fell steadily with each breath. A languorous mood had settled over them, and both were caught between wanting to sleep and wanting to savor the moment.

  Kylo leaned forward and closed the already narrow space between their lips. Hux accepted the kiss without hesitation. The hand in Kylo's hair tightened slightly. He let Kylo pull away.

  “I love you,” Hux murmured. “I'm glad you stayed with me.”

  Kylo’s lips turned up in a lazy smile. “I'm glad I did as well.” He was never a romantic. He had never even considered a relationship before he met Hux. Love had never even crossed his mind. But now he felt, if he were better with words, that he could write sonnets about Hux, and his slender fingers or the freckles on the bridge of his nose. He couldn't imagine a future without him. He'd follow him to the ends of the universe. The beauty of it was that he knew Hux would as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a kudos or comment if you liked it, or follow me on Tumblr at [Mcusekat!](http://desertsongs.co.vu/)
> 
> And a huge thank you to everyone who supported me during the posting of this story. I really appreciated all the lovely comments people left <3


End file.
